Osho's perspective on Marriage
When Osho Spoke About Marriage
Passages from the discourses where this theme comes alive.
Are you saying that marriage cannot be spiritual?
It cannot be. Marriage can never be spiritual because it is a fixed thing. But I have used marriage just as an example. In fact, the whole of society can never be spiritual because it is based on rules. Rules are always serious; you cannot be playful about them. When Bodhidharma reached China, he put one shoe on his head and the other on his foot. The emperor asked, "What are you doing? What nonsense!" Bodhidharma said, "I am joking." The emperor said, "But we never expected a joking, laughing sadhu." Bodhidharma said, "How is it possible for a sadhu to be serious? God is not serious, he is so unceasingly playful!" Creativity comes out of playfulness; hence so much creativity is born out of satori.
Question: OSHO, IS THERE ANY SUCH THING AS A REAL MARRIAGE? Sugata, NEVER HEARD OF IT -- real marriage? There are real mirages but no real marriage! If it is real there is no need for marriage. The very need for marriage arises because there is fear. If you love a person you love a person; you can be together with the person. But there is constantly a fear that the other person may leave you, and the other person is also afraid that you may leave him or her. To make the future guaranteed, so that you cannot leave, so that the other cannot leave -- easily at least -- marriage was invented. Marriage was invented only because love was missing. And if love is missing, how can the marriage be real? There is no need for marriage; if love is there, marriage is an unnecessary phenomenon.
Osho, Rahim says, “Rahiman, marriage is a malady; save yourself if you can. Shackles are placed on the feet, all to the beating of drums.” Do you agree with this couplet of Rahim?
I see no revolution in your saints—the illusion is unchanged. Earlier they held woman responsible—as a stairway to heaven; now as a stairway to hell. But stairs are stairs. You can use them either way: go up if you wish, go down if you wish. Stairs are neutral. No stair says “Up only; down forbidden.” There’s no notice board on a staircase. It goes both ways. Yet men abuse women their whole lives. And if it were sensualists abusing, that would be one thing; the so-called renunciates abuse even more. Women are not so foul-mouthed; that’s why there have been no “great saints” among women. To become a “great saint” you first need to be foul-mouthed; first uncultured and uncivil; first blame the other. Women don’t do that so easily. Truth is, women don’t get duped so quickly either. You can woo a woman endlessly, but she thinks a lot.…
Question: The fifth question: Osho, why do you make so much fun of marriage? Marriage is an old institution, very old. And the older it is, the more rotten it has become. Marriage cannot survive in the future; its days are over. We will have to find some new alternatives. The search for alternatives has begun. But in the alternatives now being sought there is one fallacy: they think there was suffering in marriage, and in this alternative there will be no suffering. That is a fallacy. Yes, in the alternatives there may be more or less suffering—but suffering will be there until you become steady within yourself. In fact, the very need for marriage arises because you think happiness can come from another—and there lies the root of all ignorance. Happiness cannot come from the other.
Can marriage be spiritual?
definition"Marriage as an institution cannot be spiritual, for true spirituality thrives in the playful spontaneity of free consciousness, not in the rigidity of rules and contracts."
"Stop bargaining for a few extra years; you can’t escape the appointment with death. Use the reality of mortality to awaken to the quality of your awareness."
"Marriage should be a celebration of love, not a prison of social obligation; let love flourish freely, and if it fades, part ways without the chains of society."
"Freedom is not found in escaping a marriage, but in confronting your own unconsciousness and living your truth. When you drop deception, the hell within dissolves, transforming your relationships or freeing you from them."
How many marriages would be permitted?
definition"One love is enough for the intelligent and aware; without consciousness, no number of marriages can bring true satisfaction."
"Marriage should be the shadow of love, never its source; when love is the foundation, union becomes a natural and moral expression of the heart."
"Marriage is your choice, but approach it with awareness and a willingness to learn; as for children, their impact extends beyond you, so tread carefully."
"Choose your troubles consciously, cultivate awareness through meditation, and let humor and understanding transform conflict into connection in your marriage."
"Marriage teaches us virtues not because it is inherently good, but because it creates the very frictions that compel us to develop them."
Is there any usefulness in marriage?
definition"Marriage is not a cage but a crucible, where the fire of love burns away illusions, leading us to the profound truth of ourselves."
Is there such a thing as a real marriage?
definition"Marriage is a contract born of fear, while true love flourishes in freedom, allowing partners to bloom and fade like a living rose. Choose love and meditation over the plastic guarantees of legality."
"Let your choice arise from meditation, for only when your aloneness is luminous can marriage gain its true dignity."
"Marry only when love has ripened through deep acquaintance; without love, remain alone and wait, for a union without it invites suffering."
What are the thoughts on married life?
definition"Marriage, as it is commonly lived, often dulls the aliveness of the soul; to find truth, observe real lives and embrace honesty, even when it feels uncomfortable."
"True love transcends possession; it flourishes in freedom, allowing us to relate as friends rather than owners."
"Marrying to appease opposition is a surrender to security that extinguishes love's flame, transforming it into a mere occupation rather than a nourishing union. True marriage blossoms only when love matures into compassion and acceptance."
What happens when I express my commitment to Osho instead of considering marriage proposals?
outcome"Embrace the auspicious madness of devotion, for true freedom lies in the leap toward authenticity, where living, dancing, and meditating become your only marriage."
"When love is valued above possession, relationships transform from ownership to a shared journey of freedom and responsibility."
"When you decide to get married, love is replaced by a contract; true love thrives in freedom and awareness, not in the confines of an institution."
What is Bertrand Russell's view on marriage?
definition"Marriage should not be a sacred bond but a conscious choice, grounded in freedom and equality, yet it must also embrace love's transformative depth to become a true communion."
"Marriage is a malady that reveals our inner emptiness, as two beggars seek fulfillment in each other, only to find that true happiness lies in embracing our own aloneness."
"Wisdom dissolves the urge for marriage, yet many find that very wisdom through the experience of it; follow your own understanding and never imitate borrowed conclusions."
What is wrong with marriage?
definition"Marriage is not wrong; it is a mirror reflecting our ego and ignorance, urging us to transcend possessiveness and discover the true essence of love."
"Marry and learn; only through firsthand experience can you discover the truth of love, for it is in surrendering control that you confront your ego and grow."
"If you truly want to marry, act decisively and let the wedding happen first; challenges will come, but you can meet them with awareness rather than fear."
Profound Quotes on Marriage
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