Marriage

Are you saying that marriage cannot be spiritual?

It cannot be. Marriage can never be spiritual because it is a fixed thing. But I have used marriage just as an example. In fact, the whole of society can never be spiritual because it is based on rules. Rules are always serious; you cannot be playful about them. When Bodhidharma reached China, he put one shoe on his head and the other on his foot. The emperor asked, "What are you doing? What nonsense!" Bodhidharma said, "I am joking." The emperor said, "But we never expected a joking, laughing sadhu." Bodhidharma said, "How is it possible for a sadhu to be serious? God is not serious, he is so unceasingly playful!" Creativity comes out of playfulness; hence so much creativity is born out of satori.

Question: OSHO, IS THERE ANY SUCH THING AS A REAL MARRIAGE? Sugata, NEVER HEARD OF IT -- real marriage? There are real mirages but no real marriage! If it is real there is no need for marriage. The very need for marriage arises because there is fear. If you love a person you love a person; you can be together with the person. But there is constantly a fear that the other person may leave you, and the other person is also afraid that you may leave him or her. To make the future guaranteed, so that you cannot leave, so that the other cannot leave -- easily at least -- marriage was invented. Marriage was invented only because love was missing. And if love is missing, how can the marriage be real? There is no need for marriage; if love is there, marriage is an unnecessary phenomenon.

Osho, Rahim says, “Rahiman, marriage is a malady; save yourself if you can. Shackles are placed on the feet, all to the beating of drums.” Do you agree with this couplet of Rahim?

I see no revolution in your saints—the illusion is unchanged. Earlier they held woman responsible—as a stairway to heaven; now as a stairway to hell. But stairs are stairs. You can use them either way: go up if you wish, go down if you wish. Stairs are neutral. No stair says “Up only; down forbidden.” There’s no notice board on a staircase. It goes both ways. Yet men abuse women their whole lives. And if it were sensualists abusing, that would be one thing; the so-called renunciates abuse even more. Women are not so foul-mouthed; that’s why there have been no “great saints” among women. To become a “great saint” you first need to be foul-mouthed; first uncultured and uncivil; first blame the other. Women don’t do that so easily. Truth is, women don’t get duped so quickly either. You can woo a woman endlessly, but she thinks a lot.…

Question: The fifth question: Osho, why do you make so much fun of marriage? ... Marriage is an old institution, very old. And the older it is, the more rotten it has become. Marriage cannot survive in the future; its days are over. We will have to find some new alternatives. The search for alternatives has begun. But in the alternatives now being sought there is one fallacy: they think there was suffering in marriage, and in this alternative there will be no suffering. That is a fallacy. Yes, in the alternatives there may be more or less suffering—but suffering will be there until you become steady within yourself. In fact, the very need for marriage arises because you think happiness can come from another—and there lies the root of all ignorance. Happiness cannot come from the other.