What happens when I contemplate death and suicide?

Osho, life seems meaningless. I want to take sannyas too, but I’m afraid of society—and I hold back. Then, seeing life’s meaninglessness, the thought of suicide comes again and again. What do you say about suicide?

The “meaning” of this life—earning your bread, running a shop, the same routine day after day. Morning you’re up again, round and round like an ox on the mill; evening you return and fall into bed; morning again. The same quarrels, the same chatter, the same ideologies. Sooner or later anyone with a little intelligence will feel: what is going on? What’s the point? I did this forty years; I’ll do it another twenty-five or thirty; then I’ll die. To what end? Only fools never have this thought. It is auspicious that you feel life is meaningless. But it is not right to decide on suicide on that basis. First search further. Another way of living may be possible. I tell you, another way of living exists. I speak from knowing: another way exists. One life heads outward; it is futile. Another turns inward; it is meaningful. Everyone is seeking…

Osho, in answer to my question you humorously told many stories of suicides failing. But none of those methods appeal to me. I keep having only one thought: to jump from my house. I live on the thirteenth floor of a skyscraper in Bombay. Osho, how could this method fail?

I knew about this method. But it is a very dangerous method, and that is why I left it out. With the methods I mentioned, there could be failure. With this method there is an even greater danger. A silly joke. Tun Tun was troubled by her fat body and jumped from the third floor of the building where she lived. In the morning when she opened her eyes in the hospital, she asked the doctor, “Doctor! Am I still alive?” The doctor said, “Devi! You are alive; but the three people you fell on died!” That is why I left this method out. Don’t do this at all. And she fell from the third floor—three dead; you live on the thirteenth—you could kill thirteen! Please don’t do this. Why such relish for suicide? Put this much thought into living; put that much strength and attention into the search for…

I no longer have the desire to do anything. Nothing seems to matter to me anymore. Life is so much effort: the body requires food and suffers constant physical discomfort. The ego wants attention, the mind continues its constant movement. I often think about how nice it would be to die. Is committing suicide just an escape from life? Is there any reason why one should not commit suicide?

If you want to commit suicide, think whether it is because of desirelessness or not. If it is because of desirelessness, then from where is the desire to commit suicide arising? And if it is because of desirelessness you will not ask me, you will simply do it. If you have really lived, then you are fulfilled; then will you take the trouble to come here and ask me? For what? Maybe you are frustrated and you would like something to console you or somebody to console you. Maybe you are afraid of the very idea of committing suicide so you want me to say, 'No, don't do it,' so the responsibility is with me, not with you. But I am not that type of man. I say: If you really want to commit suicide then do it -- but then why are you here to ask me? A young…

I want to commit suicide.

Then first take sannyas. And you may not need to commit suicide, because sannyas is the greatest suicide possible. And why should one want to commit suicide? Death is coming on its own -- why are you in such a hurry? Death will come, it always comes. Even if you don't want it to come, it comes. You need not go to meet it, it comes uninvited. But you must be missing your life badly. It is out of anger, out of desperation, that you want to commit suicide. I will teach you the real suicide: Become a sannyasin. And the ordinary suicide will-not help much, you will be born immediately into some other womb somewhere. Some foolish couple will be making love somewhere, remember...and you will be trapped again. You cannot escape so easily -- there are fools and fools. Before you will be escaping from this body you…

Osho, I always think of committing suicide, and wonder what you would say about my death?

Transform your life, Prashant, into a quest. Question the values that you have accepted. Question all that you have been brought up to believe in. Question the way you have lived up to now. Question your mechanicalness, question your robotlike existence. Yes, something drastic has to be done, but it is not suicide. It won't help, it won't change you; you will be back again in another womb somewhere. Millions of stupid couples are making love every moment. Beware! You will be caught in some net somewhere. And you will get only what you deserve, remember; you can't get more than you deserve. You get the womb that is right for you. And dying in suicide is dying in such anguish, because it is one of the most unnatural things to do, most abnormal things to do. No animal commits suicide, no tree ever commits suicide -- only man. Only…