Self-Discovery

Beloved Osho, you were speaking last night about gurdjieff's work, and the individual's chief characteristic. How does one find out what one's chief characteristic is?

It is very simple. Just watch your mind for a few days and see what is the thing that takes most of your energy: jealousy? lust for power? ego? Just watch whatever takes most of your energy, and you will find what is your chief characteristic, and that it is your number one enemy; and you have always thought that that is your number one friend. Somebody may find greed, somebody may find anger, somebody may find repressed sexuality, somebody may find an inferiority complex or a superiority complex -- it does not matter what it is. Finding it is almost half the victory. And only you can find it out. Gurdjieff had his own ways to find it. He will force his disciples to drink as much wine as possible. He will go on forcing them. And by midnight everybody was flat on the floor, and then he will…

Beloved Osho, being near you, looking into your eyes, feeling you, I am losing my ground. And I feel what I am, what I am not. Osho, how can I find myself? There seems to be nothing to find.

You have found it! Yes, nothing is there to be found. But to say it from the very beginning is to destroy the whole business. So religions go on saying to you, "You will find God, and you will find the soul, and you will find this and that." The truth is: you will not find anything. And it is better that you don't find anything, otherwise there is going to be trouble. Just think: if you find God sitting inside you, what are you going to do stuck with the fellow for eternity? Nothingness is beautiful. It implies freedom, infinity. The whole sky is yours. And you don't find anyone, so there is no question of quarrel, no question of who is higher and who is lower; no question of how to coexist because to anybody who is there you will be a stranger -- red people in Oregon!…

If you help me to find the question, will it help me to find the answer?

Seeing much confusion in scriptures, he started meeting people. Maybe somebody is alive who had gone down the river. Many people pretended because it feels so good to advise. To become a guru is such a deep desire in everybody and it feels good to the ego. Everybody becomes a wiseman whenever it is a question to advise somebody else. In his whole life he may have proved a fool, but whenever somebody else is in difficulty he becomes a wiseman with plenty of advice. Of course, nobody takes it and it is good that nobody takes anybody's advice. So, many advisers and pretenders were in the town. He visited them. He was even more confused because everybody had his own idea. He gathered much material. He planned a map. On paper everything looked perfectly beautiful; on paper it is always so. That's how every scripture is beautiful -- Gita,…

Beloved Osho, I have been a sannyasin for eleven years. Never in my life have I been as happy as now. But when I listen to you lately, I feel that I have never really gone inside. Is this possible?

Not only possible, it is absolutely certain. Just being happy is nothing. It is dangerous too, because somebody who is unhappy at least tries to find some way to get out of it. You have been a sannyasin for eleven years. Naturally -- my people are immensely happy people, and happiness is catching -- you are caught by the happiness of everybody. And there is no reason to be sad here, there is no reason to be frustrated here, there is no reason to be disappointed here. But this happiness is not what I call blissfulness. This happiness is good, but just good is not enough. You will have to enter into yourself. And remember, in entering into yourself you are not going to lose your happiness. You are fortunate, because the person who starts from unhappiness will have to lose unhappiness. You are not going to lose anything. You…