What happens if I whisper 'kill me now' in a still and calm moment?

Beloved Osho, if, in a still and calm and silent moment, I whisper, "kill me now," will you do it?

Anand Rakesh, I have every intention to kill you, because without killing you you can't have a new life. You will go on living the old, rotten personality, which keeps you company and gives you a certain consolation. But the company is of misery and the consolation is only a hope; it never materializes. Just because it is old, you feel at ease with it. Howsoever dark and howsoever painful, man has the greatest adaptability. He can adjust in any situation, if he becomes accustomed to it. It needs only time. You can see it happening in poor countries like India. Nearabout five hundred million people are starving, but they won't revolt, they won't bring a revolution. They will starve and die, hoping for some god's messenger, avatara, some savior to save them. It is strange how blind man can be. So many saviors have come to the earth, so…

Question: OSHO! KILL ME, O LORD, KILL ME! KILL ME, I CRAVE DEATH. KILL THAT DEATH OSHO DIED AND SAW. I AM SUCH A STONE, I CAN NOT COMPLETELY MELT. I AM UPSET. WHAT SHOULD I DO? So one disciple said, "I had to solve the same one, he tortured me a lot too. Three months for you -- he stepped on my corns for three years! Then one day I was completely tired out, just bored... the sound of one hand... has it ever sounded? This man is mad and I too am mad, sitting following his suggestion: contemplating the sound of one hand clapping, meditating. This is clearly impossible. I know it, he also knows it, everyone knows it. But I am attracted to this man.

Osho, “Slay me, O Lord, slay me; I long for death. Slay me with that death by which Rajneesh died upon seeing.” I am so much a stone that I cannot fully melt. I am restless. What should I do?

A man came to Ramakrishna and said, “I am going on pilgrimage, to bathe in the Ganges. What do you say?” Ramakrishna said, “Go, brother, fine—but keep one thing in mind. Have you seen the big trees on the banks of the Ganges?” “Yes.” “Why are they standing there?” “How should I know? Trees stand—what kind of question is that?” Ramakrishna said, “I’ll tell you the secret. You go with the bundle of your sins on your back and take a dip in Mother Ganges. As you dip, by her grace, the sins fall away. But sins don’t leave you so easily; they perch on the trees. They say, ‘Son, how long will you stay under water? Come out, and we’ll ride you again.’ You come out, and they jump back on. So all becomes as before. Keep an eye on those trees—if you dip, don’t come out again!” The…

Osho, it seems as if a constant benediction showers from your eyes—sweet and tender. Your eyes move over the listeners, and the moment they fall on me it feels as if a spear has pierced my innermost core. My whole body trembles. Something like death happens. But why does the ultimate death not take place?

The goldsmith puts gold into the fire. If the gold had a little intelligence it would scream and writhe, saying, What are you doing—will you kill me? But how could the gold know that this is the very process of becoming pure? Passing through the fire, whatever remains is kundan, pure gold. What does not die in you even when you die—that is the soul. What is not erased in you even when you are erased—that is your true being. You will have to pass through death. If you go from me having learned anything else, you will have gone collecting trash. If you go having learned death, you have taken the key. We have called India’s supreme mystical scriptures the Upanishads. Upanishad means to be near the master; it means to sit close—just that. What happens by sitting close? By sitting near one who is gone, the courage to…

Why can't you give us something that will kill us instantaneously and painlessly instead of us having to go through all this seemingly endless suffering?

I am giving it to you, but you don't listen. It is not a question that I am not giving it to you. I am giving you absolute poison. It will kill you instantaneously, but you don't listen to me. You go on thinking that something is wrong, you go on thinking that you are wrong, and sometimes, you even desire, "How to destroy this state of affairs? How to go beyond it?" but you have invested in it too much. You think, "How to go beyond it?" but you don't want to go beyond. Poison I can give you. The whole of what I am giving you is nothing but an art of dying. But I cannot force the poison on you; otherwise the court will see to it -- -I will be in trouble. I can simply offer you; then you have to take it. And there you…