According to Osho, you feel loose and natural with him because his presence is non-coercive—he offers love and freedom, never forcing anything. The ashram, however, is part of the world: an organization with rules, roles, and necessary discipline. Don’t identify him with the institution; he is a temporary outsider, the ashram a lasting structure. Endure the organization for the sake of the meeting, and don’t be disturbed by it.
You relax with Osho because he doesn’t control you; the ashram is a worldly place with rules, so don’t confuse it with him.
From the Discourses
Passages where Osho speaks to this question — each links to the complete discourse.
Osho, while speaking on Lao Tzu you said that for those who cannot be trusted, policies, rules and police are made; and you also said that it is dignity to see the auspicious even in a bad man. Then the question arises: why is the security here in the ashram so strict?
Many things have to be understood; and it is right that they be understood. For me there is no bad person, no enemy. The arrangements in the ashram are not to protect against any enemy. It may appear so to you—that is your interpretation. The arrangements here are to be protected from friends. And no one has ever been able to protect anyone from enemies; how could you? Jesus was crucified; twelve guards, twelve disciples were keeping watch. What can you do with twelve disciples? The enemy came with a crowd of five hundred. All arrangements can be broken. Jesus was a fakir, but even with all the arrangements America has to protect Lincoln and Kennedy—they still could not be saved. To save one from an enemy is almost impossible. It has never been done. For Gandhi, every precaution was taken. What can you do? A single madman can finish…
Osho, earlier I had the notion that you too would be an embodiment of Buddha, Nanak, Kabir, etc. But when I saw you with my own eyes, I was greatly shocked. And then, as soon as I stepped outside after seeing and hearing you, I felt duped on seeing, amid the crowd, a foreign young couple entwined in a captivating embrace of love. And I thought: can this too be called religion? Bhagwandas Arya has asked. The little tail attached to his name—“Arya”—the question has come from that very tail.
First thing: I am not anyone’s replica. A replica would be a copy, a carbon copy. No one is anyone’s replica; nor is anyone meant to be. Do you think Nanak was a replica of Buddha? Or that Buddha was a replica of Krishna? Or that Kabir was a replica of Mahavira? Then you have not understood at all. Had you gone to Kabir, you would have faced the same obstacle you’ve met here. You would have said, “Ah! We thought Kabir would be Mahavira’s image! But he is sitting wearing clothes! Not only wearing, he is weaving cloth! A weaver! And Mahavira stood naked. Forget weaving—he didn’t even wear clothes. He didn’t even touch cloth. How can Kabir be Mahavira’s replica?” And every day Kabir goes to the market to sell his woven cloth. Kabir has a wife! Kabir has a son! Kabir has a family. And Buddha left…
Question: Second question: Osho, why am I afraid of sannyas? Harish! Fear of sannyas is natural. You are dyed in the colors of the world—well dyed. With birth itself you are initiated into the world. If you are forty or fifty now, that is forty or fifty years of the world’s hypnosis. We start hypnotizing little children in the language of the world. We tell them, “If you study and write, you’ll become a nawab. If you play and frolic, you’ll be spoiled.” To make them nawabs you’re busy ruining their heads. You don’t see the state of the nawabs—that all the nawabs have become kebabs—yet you keep trying to make the kids nawabs! “Study and become a nawab,” and, “If you play you’ll be ruined.” The poor child gives up play and begins to study and write. Study becomes ambition. “Come first! Bring the gold medal!
Osho, I am ignorant. All around me there is nothing but darkness. What is the path for me?
Music! Darkness is only proof that light can be. Darkness is only evidence that light is possible. So do not look at darkness with a negative outlook. Do not look with the eyes of an atheist; look with the eyes of a theist. Then even in darkness you will sense light hidden within it. Darkness is the womb of light. Do not be alarmed by darkness, nor afraid, nor anxious—be blissful, for the morning must be coming! And the denser the darkness, the nearer the dawn. Deep is this darkness; by the veils of selfishness we have been plundered. A wall of dead matter stands encircling, people speak as if turning their faces away; in this sky there is no sun, no moon, no star. An infinite ocean of imagination this, roaring as it girds the body, fierce— nothing is understood; where is the dusky shore? Beloved, give me that…
Osho, when we sow a seed, the sprout takes time to emerge. Yet you say everything can happen this very moment. And man is called the seed of the Divine.
I certainly say so. When you sow a seed, it takes time. The time is taken in the breaking of the seed, not in the sprouting. The sprout bursts forth in a single instant—an explosion. But the seed’s breaking takes time. Your breaking can take time—I don’t deny that. But the coming of the Divine takes no time; it happens in a single moment. It is like heating water. Heating can take time. To reach a hundred degrees takes time. But becoming steam takes no time—a leap! The water reaches a hundred degrees—the jump—and it has leapt, become steam. It is not that steam takes time to form—half water, half steam; one corner steaming, another not. No, when steam happens, it happens in a jump. Yes, reaching the point of steam takes time. But until it becomes steam, it is still water—whether at a hundred degrees, ninety-nine, or ninety-eight. The…