According to Osho, we do not choose our families; unconscious death propels us robotlike into a womb that matches our unawareness and karmic deserving—'what fits you' receives you. Only a buddha, dying consciously, can choose. Your past life pushes you into a certain family. Cultivating awareness—especially through conscious love—prepares you to die consciously and thus to choose.
You didn’t pick your family; your unconscious state pulled you to parents like you, and by becoming aware now you can gain choice in the future.
From the Discourses
Passages where Osho speaks to this question — each links to the complete discourse.
Beloved master, my previous life with my mother, father, sister and brother was a period filled with unhappiness. Why did I choose to be born into this family?
Prem Joshua, you have not chosen, because you died unconsciously. How can you choose? If YOU had chosen, you certainly would not have chosen such a family. It was unconscious. You moved into the womb robotlike. That's how it happens. Ordinarily whenever a man dies -- except the buddhas -- he dies in unconsciousness. He lives in unconsciousness, how can he die in consciousness? Death is the culmination of your whole life. If you have lived in unconsciousness, you will die in unconsciousness. It is the condensed moment; your whole life becomes condensed. If you have lived in unconsciousness, your death is going to be of tremendously condensed unconsciousness. You will die unconscious; then you don't choose. How can you choose? But millions of stupid people are making love all over the world; millions of wombs are ready to receive you. They are also as unconscious as you are. They…
A friend has asked, Osho, one can die with awareness, but how can one be born with awareness?
Most fasters spend twenty-four hours repeating, “I am hungry; I have not eaten,” with their minds absorbed in planning tomorrow’s menu. Then the fast is wasted; it is merely a hunger-strike. That is the difference: a hunger-strike means not eating; upavasa means “dwelling nearer and nearer.” Nearer to whom? To oneself. Away from the body, closer to the self. Even the word upavasa carries no implication of starving; it means nearer-dwelling. Thus one could be in upavasa even while eating—if one knows the eating is at a distance and “I am elsewhere.” And one could not be in upavasa even while not eating—if one keeps thinking, “I am hungry; I’m dying of hunger.” Upavasa is a psychological knowing of one’s separateness from hunger. Other sufferings too can be invited voluntarily. A man can even lie on thorns, simply to see that the thorns do not pierce me; they pierce elsewhere,…
Osho, children who are born without limbs, who are blind, or otherwise unhealthy—what karma did they do that resulted in this?
Yes, there are many reasons. This whole matter is really something to be understood. And Mahipalji has asked a question that also fits here. When a child is born blind, two events are taking place. If you ask a scientist, he will say: in the genes of the parents that came together, there was a propensity for blindness. The scientist will explain it that way. He too does not take it as without cause; he too accepts causality. But the causes he will seek are scientific. He will say: given the genetic combination of the parents, only a blind child could have been born. A blind child has been born. In those genes there was some chemical deficiency because of which the eyes could not form; the eyes did not form. That is what the scientist will say. He too does not regard this as causeless. But the religious person…
Osho, you were more awake as an infant than I am now. How did this courage and awareness happen?
In India, in Punjab, if you are traveling in Punjab -- you can ask Neelam -- never ask anybody, "What is the time?" because if it happens to be twelve you will be beaten. And if you can escape alive it will be just a miracle. It is just for a very philosophical reason -- but when philosophy comes into the hands of fools, this is what happens. Nanak, the founder of Sikhism, has said that the moment of samadhi is just like two hands of the clock meeting on twelve, where they are no longer two. He was just taking an example -- that in the moment of samadhi the two-ness of your being dissolves and you arrive at oneness. The same happens in death too. He explained later on that the same happens in death. Again the two hands which have been separately moving come together and stop,…
One friend has asked: one can die fully conscious, but how can one be in full consciousness at birth?
Remember, the darker the night, the brighter the stars. The flash of lightning stands out like a silver strand, the darker the clouds are. Similarly, when, in its full form, death surrounds us from all sides, at that moment the very center of life manifests in all its glory -- never before that. Death surrounds us like darkness, and in the middle, that very center of life -- call it atman, the soul, shines in its full splendor; the surrounding darkness makes it luminous. But at that moment we become unconscious. At the very moment of death, which could otherwise become the moment to know our being, we become unconscious. Hence one will have to make preparations towards raising one's consciousness. Meditation is that preparation. Meditation is an experiment in how one attains to a gradual, voluntary death. It is an experiment in how one moves within and then leaves…