What happens when love is challenged by loss and freedom?

Question: BELOVED OSHO, IN MY SIXTY-THREE YEARS OF LIFE YOU ARE THE FIRST LOVE RELATIONSHIP WHICH HAS MADE ME INDEPENDENT. HOW HAS THIS HAPPENED? Paritosh Lore, love brings freedom. And a love that does not bring freedom is not love. Love is not domination. How can you dominate someone you love? How can you make him dependent, and still be loving? But that's what goes on happening in the world in the name of love -- something else -- a lust to power, to dominate the other. Naturally independence cannot be allowed. Every effort is made that the other should be a carbon copy of you. You are afraid of the freedom of the other, because freedom is not controllable, and freedom is not predictable. So all so-called love tries in every way to destroy freedom -- and the moment freedom is destroyed, love dies.

Shanti Deva. It means goddess of peace. Let it be a remembrance -- feel as peaceful as possible. And it is only a question of feeling. If you feel peaceful, you become peaceful. Nobody is barring you; there is no hindrance. The idea becomes the actuality. A continuous thought can be transformed into a thing. It becomes as material as anything else. Let it vibrate inside continuously. Whenever you forget, again remember, relax and bring peace. Move peacefully, sit peacefully, stand peacefully. Carry a grace, an elegance, and feel that you are surrounded by a small aura of peace. Within a few days there will be no need to remember it. It will be there whether you remember it or not, but in the beginning remembrance helps to materialise it.

And it is possible that the man will love you more than ever. Because you don't possess he will feel even more grateful to you. He may stay with you forever. Where can he go? Where will he find a person who loves and does not cling? Everybody is searching for that person who will love and who will not possess. In fact, people start moving from one to the other just because that one started possessing. In the beginning we keep our possession repressed. In the beginning we show a different face, because to show an ugly face in the beginning will destroy the whole thing from the very start. So in the beginning lovers show beautiful faces, and when they are trapped with each other, involved, committed, and things have become settled, their ugly faces start surfacing.

Osho, one kind of love becomes a prison and another becomes a temple. Is there a difference even between love and love?

A little girl! But every girl is born a mother, and a man remains a small child to his last breath. No man ever goes beyond being a little boy. Every man seeks the mother in a woman, and every woman seeks the child in a man. Therefore when a man loves a woman deeply, he becomes like a small child, and in the deep moments of love the woman becomes like a mother. The rishis of the Upanishads blessed newlyweds: may you have ten children, and in the end may the eleventh be your husband becoming your son. They spoke very rightly. But if a child does not learn love—unconditional love—from his mother, where will he learn it? The first school is missed. And if a girl does not receive love from her father, she will not be able to love any man; the well became poisonous at the…

Question: BELOVED OSHO, SITTING IN MY ROOM THOUSANDS OF KILOMETERS AWAY FROM YOU, I CAN FEEL YOU. AND IF HAD HAVE EYES TO SEE, I WOULD SEE YOU STANDING RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. I REMEMBER WHEN YOU SAID TO US IN DISCOURSE `IF YOU DON'T FEEL ME WHEN YOU ARE NOT HERE, YOU HAVEN'T LET ME IN.' IT'S SO TRUE -- BUT WHAT A GIFT THAT YOU REALLY, REALLY CAME WHEN I WAS OPEN, THAT YOU REALLY FILLED MY BEING. IN SOME MOMENTS SITTING IN FRONT OF YOU I GOT IT. IN OTHER MOMENTS IT HAPPENED BUT I WASN'T AWARE OF IT AT THAT MOMENT. PUTTING THIS OUT TO YOU MY HEART IS BEATING FASTER AND MY HANDS ARE TREMBLING. FOR THE FIRST TIME I FEEL TO SHOW SOMETHING OF MYSELF. THIS IS A GIFT ALSO.