According to Osho, your sense of separateness and loneliness when alone is not natural; it’s the internalized ‘crowd’—parents, priests, society—speaking through your conditioned mind, making you feel guilty and unworthy when you relax into your own nature. Witness the mind, disidentify from it, firmly silence it, and allow your being. Then aloneness turns from fear into freedom, innocence, and beauty.
That lonely, separate feeling comes from the borrowed voices in your head; notice them, tell them to be quiet, and relax into your own self—then being alone becomes peaceful and alive.
From the Discourses
Passages where Osho speaks to this question — each links to the complete discourse.
Beloved Osho, every time I am on my own, I feel separate, lonely, and miserable. I love myself only when I am with others. If I am alone, I feel ashamed and dislike myself. It seems as if I judge myself through the eyes of others. Can you say something?
The old method is a long process. Delgado's method is simple, can be done within seconds, but it is more dangerous too. You can disidentify yourself with the mind that the society has given, but the electrode is a different matter. Even if you disidentify, the electrode will control your body. You may not like to do something, but the electrode will force you to do it. You are absolutely incapable. In a way, the discovery can be a blessing, because we can stop all that is ugly in man, all that is inhuman in man with such a simple methodology -- just a small operation in your skull, and placing a small electrode. If you are too much of a man of anger, you can just go to the scientist and tell him that this is your basic trouble: small things make you angry. He can put an electrode…
Osho, I feel so lonely that I panic and sadness surrounds me. What should I do? Lord, please guide me!
Do not stop me now, O pourer of wine! We are not ones to turn back and go away! Our thirst is endless—and your treasure is inexhaustible, inexhaustible—O giver, keep pouring! We have come to awaken the Unseen at your door! We have come to be dissolved at your door! Fill this empty cup—fill it, fill it, fill it! Make us intoxicated—make us, make us! We have been standing at the gate with hands outstretched— Make us immortal, O Immortal, give us your boon! In a single drop the ocean of life is contained— Fill to the brim this mind’s emptiness! From here on, gaining is losing; hidden in laughter at drinking is the sob of thirst. Let the rounds of bliss go on—let them go on! Let every corner of the heart be filled, even with sorrow! Reveal to us your boundless Presence! Teach us only to dissolve, to…
Question: BELOVED OSHO, IT SEEMS THAT ONE OF THE GREATEST HURDLES THAT FACES A HUMAN BEING IS TO BE ALONE, TO STAND ALONE IN THE FACE OF THE OPINIONS OF THE WORLD, TO STAND ALONE IN THE FACE OF THE LIES OF THE WORLD, TO BE ABLE TO BE PHYSICALLY ALONE, AND, ULTIMATELY, TO BE ALONE WITHOUT EVEN OUR MINDS -- THE COMPANION OF LAST RESORT. WE REALLY KNOW WE ARE ALONE, WE KNOW WE WILL DIE INTO ALONENESS, WE KNOW THAT EVERY CONTACT OUTSIDE OURSELVES IS TRANSITORY -- ONLY YOU REFLECT THE SILENCE OF THE STARS, THE SILENCE OF INFINITY, THE SILENCE OF ETERNITY -- YET JUST BELOW THE HEART THERE IS A PAIN, A KNOT, A FEAR... THE FEAR OF BEING A LITTLE BOY WITHOUT FRIENDS, THE FEAR OF FAILURE AND REJECTION, AND THE PAIN OF PRETENDING I DON'T CARE.
Osho, the mind does not settle in the crowd, and sheer loneliness also makes the heart panic. Is this a symptom of madness? Kindly explain.
A few things about solitude should be understood. Solitude has three forms. First: what we call loneliness. Second: aloneness. And third: kaivalya. Loneliness is negative. Loneliness is not true aloneness; the memory of the other keeps tormenting you—if only the other were here; the other’s absence hurts, a thorn pricks; the mind is entangled in the other. To outward eyes you are alone, but not within; inside, a crowd is present. Someone may find you sitting by yourself, yet you know you are not alone: someone comes to mind; your heart is set on someone; you are sending out a call to someone; weaving dreams of someone; a cry is going on within—if only someone were here, I would not be alone! You are not reconciled to loneliness. Far from joy, there is not even peace in it. You are restless, agitated. Soon you will find some entanglement: you will…
Beloved Osho, when my father died ten years ago, he was my last reason for living. After this strong experience, I have felt more alone every day. When I met you it was like meeting my father again. But now, with you, I feel more and more alone. Beloved Osho, what can I do? Is aloneness my way?
Prem Matwala, aloneness is not only your way to truth, it is everybody's way. It is the only way. Your whole approach from the very beginning has been wrong. First, life is a reason unto itself. The moment you make something else a reason for living, you have moved on a wrong path. You are saying, "When my father died ten years ago, he was my last reason for living." This is a very wrong approach, a wrong way of looking at things. Everybody's father is going to die sooner or later. Your father's father must have died... and still he lived. You have not lived on your own, you have always needed somebody else to be your reason for living. That reason can disappear at any moment: the father will die, the mother will die, the wife can go with somebody else, the business can go bankrupt. If you…