According to Osho, feeling like a loner is not a problem but a sign of natural aloneness—a born meditator's gift. Don't seek to 'belong'; life is a pilgrimage, not a home. Drop the condemning label 'loner.' Be rooted in yourself, relate without dependency, and cherish outsiderhood as transcendence; aloneness is pure, sufficient, and free.
Feeling different means you're built to be happily alone inside; stop trying to fit in, enjoy your own company, and meet others without clinging.
From the Discourses
Passages where Osho speaks to this question — each links to the complete discourse.
Question: OSHO, NEVER BELONGED, NEVER BEEN ON THE 'INSIDE', NEVER FELT 'AT ONE' WITH ANOTHER, WHY SUCH A LONER ALL MY LIFE? LIFE is a mystery, but you can reduce it to a problem. And once you make a mystery a problem you will be in difficulty, because there can be no solution to it. A mystery remains a mystery; it is insoluble -- that's why it is called a mystery. Life is not a problem. And that is one of the most basic mistakes we all go on committing: we immediately put a question mark. And if you put a question mark on a mystery, you will be searching for the answer your whole life and you will not find it, and naturally it brings great frustration. My observation of you, Madhura, is that you are a born meditator. Rather than making it a problem, rejoice!
Beloved Osho, every time I am on my own, I feel separate, lonely, and miserable. I love myself only when I am with others. If I am alone, I feel ashamed and dislike myself. It seems as if I judge myself through the eyes of others. Can you say something?
The old method is a long process. Delgado's method is simple, can be done within seconds, but it is more dangerous too. You can disidentify yourself with the mind that the society has given, but the electrode is a different matter. Even if you disidentify, the electrode will control your body. You may not like to do something, but the electrode will force you to do it. You are absolutely incapable. In a way, the discovery can be a blessing, because we can stop all that is ugly in man, all that is inhuman in man with such a simple methodology -- just a small operation in your skull, and placing a small electrode. If you are too much of a man of anger, you can just go to the scientist and tell him that this is your basic trouble: small things make you angry. He can put an electrode…
Why is the modern man feeling so lonely?
MAN HAS ALWAYS FELT LONELY, because man basically IS alone. We are born alone, and we will die alone. And in the middle we can only pretend to be together. Aloneness remains unaffected. It becomes an undercurrent, it goes underground. Man has always been alone, but modern man is feeling it more for a certain reason -- because modern man for the first time has time enough to think about his own self. In the past, the struggle for bread and butter was so much that it kept people occupied from the early morning to the late night, and then too they were not able to feed themselves and their children enough. And that's exactly the case in the East even today. Modern man in an Indian village is not feeling lonely. He has no time to feel anything at all! He feels hungry, not lonely; he needs a shelter,…
Question: BELOVED OSHO, NOTHING TO HOLD ON TO NOWHERE TO BELONG TO NOWHERE TO GO BELOVED OSHO, WHY IS IT PAINFUL TO FEEL MY ALONENESS? Dhyan Parijato, "Nothing to hold on to, nowhere to belong to, nowhere to go -- why is it painful to feel my aloneness?" What am I here for? For the time being hang around me, hold on to me. Go with me wherever I am going. Belong to this caravan which is simply enjoying, not going anywhere. It is not the Jewish caravan that Moses was leading continuously for forty years. And just now they have discovered the reason was they had lost a quarter. They searched the whole Middle East -- it took forty years, and still they could not get it! This caravan is not searching for anything. This caravan is just remaining herenow.
Beloved Osho, you said the other day that we are born alone, we live alone and we die alone. Yet it seems as if from the day we are born, whatever we are doing, whoever we are, we seek to relate to others; in addition, we are usually attracted to being intimate with one person in particular. Would you please comment?
Only very rare marriages are not failures -- and I hope God should save you from those marriages which are not failures, because they are psychologically sick. There are people who are sadists, who enjoy torturing others, and there are people who are masochists, who enjoy torturing themselves. If a husband and wife belong to these two categories, that marriage will be a successful marriage. One is a masochist and one is a sadist -- it is a perfect marriage, because one enjoys being tortured and one enjoys torturing. But ordinarily it is very difficult to find out in the first place whether you are a masochist or a sadist, and then to look for your other polarity.... If you are wise enough you should go to the psychologist and enquire who you are, a masochist or a sadist? and ask if he can give you some references which can…