Why do I cling to the negative aspects of my love?

Question: OSHO, I KNOW MY LOVE STINKS, SO WHY DO I CLING TO THE SMELL? Prem Amrito, WE LIVE according to the past: our lives are rooted in the dead past, we are conditioned by the past. The past is very powerful, that's why you go on living in a certain pattern; even if it stinks, you will go on repeating it. You don't know what else to do; you have become conditioned to it. It is a mechanical phenomenon. And this is not only so with you, Amrito, it is so with almost every human being -- unless he becomes a Buddha. To become a Buddha means to get rid of the past and to live in the present. The past is immense, very huge, enormous, of millions of lives. You have lived in a certain way.

Question: BELOVED OSHO, WHY DO I CLING TO MY MISERY? WHY CAN I NOT DROP IT? I said, "It is so apparent. I cannot conceive of a husband who has been married for seven years coming at each station to ask you ... to hold your hand for two minutes, to give you a kiss. If it is true then this must be the rarest husband in the whole of history. I cannot believe it, it is an absolute lie." For a moment she was silent and then she said, "You are right. He is not my husband, we are not married. And we have not known each other for seven years either. Just three or four days ago we met. We don't have any relationship yet." I said, "Go on being this way.

When all I know of love is its attachments, how can I drop them? All I can see is the ego clinging to what it believes is love.

Remain alert, because if love becomes attachment you will never function in your totality. The energy has moved in a wrong way. Don't a]low love to become attachment, remain alert! Allow love absolute freedom, even if sometimes it is painful -- it is. But that pain is also beautiful. When you suffer for freedom, that suffering is good. When you are comfortable because of bondage, that comfortableness is bad. I have heard one story, that one man, a great priest, dreamed one night that he was in a beautiful place, sleeping under a tree, a cool breeze passing, subtle fragrance of flowers, birds singing; he couldn't imagine a more heavenly moment. He looked around -- it was really peaceful, beautiful. He thought in his mind he must be in paradise! But he was feeling hungry, so he thought: But where to get food? I am feeling hungry. Suddenly an angel…

Why is it difficult? It is difficult because to feel your aloneness and yet be loving seems to be contradictory to the mind. The mind feels perfectly right: if you are loving, then forget about your aloneness, then be lost in togetherness. According to the mind that's what love is, it is the meeting with the other. But if you don't know what aloneness is, who is going to meet whom? Two empty shells will be meeting, two bodies will be meeting. But unless two souls meet and merge love never reaches to its ultimate crescendo. And one becomes a soul only when one knows the beauty of being alone. The mind is ready to say that if you want to be alone then be alone, forget all about love. The mind seems to be absolutely logical.

Osho, isn’t love inherently laced with attachment and possessiveness?

Rabi‘a, a woman mystic, was sitting in her house. A fakir named Hasan was her guest. Morning came; the sun rose. Hasan went outside and called loudly, “Rabi‘a, what are you doing inside? Come out and see how beautiful the sun is—behold God’s creation!” Rabi‘a said, “Hasan! Better you come inside—for you are seeing God’s creation outside; within I am seeing the One Himself.” Creation is beautiful. But will you compare it with the Creator? A song is beautiful; it carries a slight hint of the singer’s soul. These carvings all around are beautiful, but they are a tiny work of the artist. The artist is not exhausted in the paintings, nor is the Creator finished in the creation. From that Creator infinite creations can arise, and still He remains as He is—unchanged. The Ishavasya says: “From the Full, the Full is taken, yet the Full remains.” From that God,…