Why do feelings of insecurity and muddledness arise in the experience of love?

Last night you said that love is alive because it is insecure, and marriage is dead because it is secure. But isn't it true that love in the spiritual depth becomes marriage?

No! It never becomes marriage. The deeper it goes the more love it becomes, but never a marriage. By marriage I mean an outer bond, a legal sanction, social approval. And I say that love never becomes a marriage because it is never secure. It remains love. It becomes more love, more and more, but the more it is, the more insecure it is. There is no security. But if you love, you don't care about security at all. When you don't love, only then you care about security. When you love, the very moment is so much that you don't care about the next moment, you don't care about the future. What happens tomorrow is not your concern -- because what is happening right now is so much. It is too much. It is unbearably much. You don't care. Why does security come to the mind? It comes because…

Osho, can you please sing us a song on this? Lately I have seen that I am totally vicious. Suddenly my heart then carries me into a very insecure but beautiful place. I love this whenever it comes, but why the insecurity and muddledness, yet so muck grace?

A person who lives within the boundaries defined by others... of course they are defined by others because a child cannot define his own boundaries. Parents define boundaries out of their fear -- their parents have done the same to them; now they are doing the same to their children. This is how from one generation to another the diseases go on being transferred. Each child hates the parents but pretends to love them. I can understand why he hates them, because the parents are poisoning him. He feels it in his guts, that they are destroying something tremendously significant. They are destroying his very life! -- but they are destroying it for his own sake. He cannot even revolt because he is so helpless. It was thought in the past that the proletariat is the most exploited class; that was not true. Later on we found it is not…

You often say sannyas is to live in the utmost insecurity, but my experience has been different. I have felt more secure in my heart only since taking sannyas. What should I listen to? I am confused.

YOGA BHARTI, BOTH THINGS ARE TRUE -- life is very paradoxical. I say to you: Sannyas is to live in utmost insecurity... but the moment you start living in ut-most insecurity, all insecurity disappears. Then you are secure for the first time. Why does it happen? The moment you accept insecurity, you stop asking for security. The moment you understand that insecurity is the nature of life, the moment you see that asking for security is asking for death... a secure person is a dead person. If you are alive you will have to live in insecurity. Life is insecure, rooted in insecurity. One day you will have to die -- how can you be secure? And you love a woman, and the woman is still alive -- she can fall in love with somebody else. Nobody knows the ways of life -- they are mysterious. And she is still…

Now a few things have to be understood, mm? No relationship can be secure. It is not the nature of relationships to be secure. And if any relationship is secure, it will lose all attraction. So this is a problem for the mind. If you want to enjoy a relationship, it has to be insecure. If you make it completely secure, absolutely secure, then you cannot enjoy it -- it loses all charm, all attraction. The mind cannot be satisfied either with this or with that, so it is always in conflict and chaos. It wants a relationship which is alive and secure. This is impossible, because an alive person or an alive relationship or anything which is alive, has to be unpredictable. What is going to happen in the next moment cannot be forecast. And because it is unpredictable, this moment becomes intense.

Osho, I live in the world of the conditional -- could, should, would, may, might and is, are my dream operatives, which only my mind accomplishes, usually in the past tense. Why am I so secure in this illusion?

ONE can be secure only in an illusion, because security is the greatest illusion there is. Life is insecure. Love is insecure. To be is to be in insecurity. To be is to be in constant danger. Only the dead are secure because they cannot die any more; nothing can ever happen to them now. The more alive you are the more insecure you are. Hence many people have decided not to be alive, because a kind of deadness gives security, protection, armor. Many people have decided not to look into reality, because reality IS insecure. I cannot do anything, you cannot do anything about it -- it is how it is. Reality is insecure; one never knows what is going to happen in the next moment. I may be here, I may not be here; you may be here, you may not be here. The next breath may come…