Why can't I let go of the idea that my path is through fullness rather than emptiness?

The second question is: though you have infused the sutras with life and humor, for me, zen remains the stark beauty of the desert, and I long for something else. Why can't I drop the idea that my way is not via emptiness, but fullness? I still carry this longing for some kind of union, a melting outwards rather than dissolving into nothingness inside.

Gurdjieff has written a book, ALL AND NOTHING. I would like to withdraw the word `and', because all is nothing; there is no question of and. Whatever type you are -- introvert, extrovert -- it does not matter, you are all part of the same existence. And when you relax into existence, all your differences disappear, only oneness remains. You can call that oneness whatever you like, but basically it is nothingness. You can give it any color, you can call it by any name, but don't start calling it by another name from the beginning, because that can take you astray. Somebody may think that he can call it God, then he will start worshipping a God which is man manufactured. For the beginner, nothing is the most secure path to avoid the mind playing games. Nothing is beyond the reaches of the mind, so it cannot play games…

And that is where people become awakened: awakened to the truth of existence, awakened to the truth of their own being. That's where one becomes a Buddha. The Buddha simply means the one who is no more asleep, who is no more dreaming, who is fully awake. [A sannyasin, leaving, says: I'm still afraid of the emptiness, Osho. I fill it with food and drinks.] Simply accept it. It is nothing wrong -- it is the door to the ultimate. But the door has to be empty otherwise how will you enter? You cannot enter through a wall From far away the door looks empty and dark, and you are unnecessarily frightened. Come closer to it, accept it Emptiness is not emptiness but the beginning of fullness, but you have to take a plunge into it, and you can take the plunge only when you accept.

Beloved Osho, when I close my eyes, I feel such an enormous presence, such a vast isness, such a beatitude. But it is a fullness, not an emptiness. Could you please say something about the difference between this fullness, and the emptiness or nothingness which you are speaking of?

These ideas appeal to the ego. The ego would like to have all the stars, if not inside the chest then at least hanging on the coat outside the chest. "Enormous light"... the ego is very willing. To cut the very roots, Buddha says the experience is as if you were to blow out a candle. There was a small flame on the candle giving a small light -- even that is gone, and you are surrounded with absolute darkness, abysmal darkness. People used to come to ask him, "If you go on teaching such things, nobody is going to follow you. Who wants darkness, enormous darkness? You are crazy. You say that the ultimate experience is ultimate death. People want eternal life, and you are talking about ultimate death." But he was a very consistent man, and you can see that for forty-two years he hammered on the genius…

A Jain has asked: “You say that the ultimate state is emptiness. Then what will we do after attaining such emptiness? Better to keep this life—at least we experience pleasure and pain!”

What Mahavira said, you have not heard as he said it; otherwise these bad days, this misery, this poverty would not have befallen. Those who throw this blame and raise such disputes—the fact they point to is there; but it points toward you, not toward Mahavira. If only you had understood Mahavira, such blessedness would have flowered in this land, such a constellation of glorious blossoms gathered here as nowhere else could be. Had you understood Mahavira, the boundless within you would have manifested; a halo of light would surround you. Even if nothing were in your hands outwardly, you would be rich. And now the situation is such that even if you have everything, your poverty does not leave you. If you have not seen the poverty of the rich, you have seen nothing. If you have not seen the powerlessness of the powerful, you have seen nothing. If…

I feel empty... And a deep yearning. And there seems no way to let go

There are two types of emptinesses. One, negative emptiness; another, positive emptiness. Negative emptiness is a loneliness. You miss the presence of something or somebody. You are not enjoying the purity of aloneness. You are missing.... The wife has died and now you feel empty. Her presence was a sort of filling, her presence was giving you a feeling of fullness. Now she is dead. Now you feel empty, you miss her. This emptiness is negative. Then there is a positive emptiness. Positive emptiness does not miss the absence of somebody else. On the contrary, it cherishes, relishes, the presence of oneself. When you are sitting alone -- just enjoying yourself, just delighting in being -- you are empty, but this emptiness is positive. The negative emptiness is of the devil and the positive emptiness is of God. Both are empty, but there is a tremendous difference in quality. One…