Why are people so afraid of being loved?

Why are people so afraid of being loved?

Krishna Gopa has asked it. People ARE afraid of being loved. Because love brings misery, love brings lies. Love brings imprisonment, love brings slavery, love destroys freedom. That's why people are afraid. And people cannot remain without love, because love is a necessary nourishment too. So they hanker for love, they desire to be loved and to love. They cannot remain alone. But the moment they meet the person, the other -- the woman, the man -- they become frightened too. Because they know now they are getting into a cage. Because love is not yet unconditional, that's why people are afraid of love. And because love brings so many compromises. They have to compromise so much that they almost lose their original face. That's why people are afraid. And they cannot remain without it either, because it is a necessary nourishment for the soul. In fact because it is…

Osho, why am I afraid of women?

That lean, thin woman was going to decide. This is the situation. Man tries in his ways, somehow, to possess the woman; the woman tries to possess the man. The woman is afraid because man can be physically violent. The man is afraid because the woman is psychologically very very clever, very very powerful. You ask me, Prabhudas, "WHY AM I AFRAID OF WOMEN?" You are afraid of love; you are afraid of losing your ego. You are asking a wrong question. And remember always: the mind tries many times to give you a wrong question. A little twist, a little turn, and the question becomes wrong. Now you ask, "WHY AM I AFRAID OF WOMEN?" The question seems to be perfectly right; it is not. You should have asked: why am I afraid of love? and then it would have been right. It is a wrong question. But many…

Will you comment on the nature of fear?

He sailed off in his boat -- just in the middle of the lake he could not believe his eyes: those three persons, those foolish people, were coming running on the water. They said: Wait! Once more! We have forgotten! Now this was impossible to believe! The priest fell at their feet and he said: Forgive me. You continue your Prayer. The third love energy is prayer. Religions, organized churches, have destroyed it. They have given you readymade prayers. Prayer is a spontaneous feeling. Remember this story when you pray. Let your prayer be a spontaneous phenomenon. If even your prayer cannot be spontaneous, then what will be? If even with God you have to be readymade then where will you be authentic and true and natural? Say things that you would like to say. Talk to him as you would talk to a wise friend. But don't bring formalities…

What is love? Why am I so afraid of love? Why does love feel like an unbearable pain?

Meditate on these lines of Raymond John Born. What is required of us in our time is that we go down into uncertainty, where what is new is as old as every morning, and what is well-known is not known as well. That we go down into the most human where living men have vanished and the music of their meaning has been trapped and sealed. What is asked of us in our time is that we break open our blocked caves and find each other. Nothing less will heal the anguished spirit, nor release the heart to act in love. You ask, "WHAT IS LOVE?" It is the deep urge to be one with the whole, the deep urge to dissolve I and thou into one unity. Love is that because we are separated from our own source, out of that separation the desire arises to fall back into…

Osho, I would like to fall in love, but I am afraid of beautiful women, and so afraid of love, and I don't know why. Why is it so hard for me to fall in love?

Parivartan, that thing you are certainly saying with some intelligence. And when you are thinking and planning a well planned life, then fall in love with an ugly woman. It will be difficult in the beginning, but then it is sweet all the way! And always think of the future -- that's how calculating people do. What it is? Just a bitter pill in the beginning, it's okay, but then it is very health-giving. Ugly women are medicinal, but beautiful women are sweet in the beginning and very bitter in the end. And this is not my advice to you; Gautam Buddha also says the same thing -- in a different context, of course. He cannot be so truthful as I am. He says: The world is sweet in the beginning but very bitter in the end, and the other world is very bitter in the beginning but very sweet…