What is the experience of oneness?

Question: BELOVED OSHO, ONCE, SOME YEARS AGO, WHILE MAKING LOVE, I DISAPPEARED. I WOULD LIKE TO SAY, "LITERALLY DISAPPEARED," BECAUSE I FELT AS IF ALL OF ME SIMPLY VANISHED. BUT CERTAINLY MY BODY MUST HAVE BEEN THERE, BECAUSE MY PARTNER DIDN'T NOTICE THAT HE WAS SUDDENLY ALONE. I HEARD MY VOICE SAY: "I AM GOING," AND THEN POSSIBLY ONLY FOR A SECOND OR TWO, NO ONE WAS THERE. THOUGH I HAVE HAD MOMENTS OF JOY WHILE MAKING LOVE SINCE, I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN PRESENT TO KNOW THAT THEY ARE MOMENTS OF JOY. PRESUMABLY ECSTASY WAS THE TRIGGER FOR WHAT HAPPENED, BUT THE HAPPENING ITSELF WASN'T ECSTATIC, IT WASN'T ANYTHING, IT SIMPLY WAS. IS MEDITATION THAT PREVIOUS STAGE OF ECSTASY, OR THAT STATE OF NOT-EVEN-ECSTASY, JUST ISNESS? Ecstasy or blissfulness are all toys to allure you towards meditation. You will find them only in the beginning.

Beloved Osho, though I search, I can find no other. Everything I find is this one, only this one. This one arises as a senseless sensation, more delicious than anything I've known before and grows into a beautiful vast aloneness. It is as if my expansion would have no end. Then suddenly I jump out of it and experience a terror of death, and I panic that time is so short and I have so far to go. Can you help me to understand this jump between oneness and separateness, timelessness and time?

Surabhi, the experience you are going through is perfectly beautiful. You are on the right line... just a little more courage. You come to the point of merger, and that is the time when you jump off, because merger looks like death. It is just your interpretation. You don't know merger, you don't know death, but you have heard: all around, death-oriented philosophies, religions, life-negative theologies, philosophies, are pouring as much crap in your minds as possible. You have to see one thing: that whatever you know is not your own. Put your knowledge aside -- to brag about borrowed knowledge is not right. But man has a tendency to brag. He wants to have this, to become that, and he cannot. Then he starts bragging, and the danger is that he may start believing in his own bragging. Then he has no future. I have heard... one old man…

Kill out all sense of separateness.

If you are afraid of death you will be afraid of meditation also. But if you love meditation, you will not be afraid of death. If you enter meditation unafraid, fearless, you will become deathless, because there will be no death for you. You are already dead, so how can you die again? One who has entered meditation is already dead. Now you cannot die again, now death cannot destroy you. You have already surrendered; you are no more. Death will enter an empty house. You will not be found there. Only the ego dies, not you. Your life is eternal, but the ego is transitory. The ego is just a created, composed phenomenon. You have created it. It is needed, it has some utility. In society, you need an ego; but in life, in existence, that same ego becomes a barrier. Sannyas means going beyond society, because it means…

Osho, is the experience of the Divine different for each person?

Think of it like this: you go home from this garden, and your children say, “Tell us—what was the garden like?” A painter might tell you by making a painting: “It was like this.” A poet will write a poem—of the trees, of the winds passing through them, of the sun filtering between their leaves. Now a poem and a painting differ greatly. Or perhaps someone is a musician; he will not even write a poem—he will lift his vina. Why write? The winds passed through the trees and there was sound and resonance—he will reproduce that resonance on the vina. The colors in the trees he will translate into tones. The sun and shade he will pour into music. He will play the garden on his vina. Another will write a poem; another will render it on paper. The three expressions will differ. And if you look only at…

Beloved Osho, being here with you, I find myself more and more often in moments of let-go. It seems that in these moments my mind loses all its power, and I can watch overwhelming waves of energy vibrating within my body. I suddenly become aware of the earth beneath my feet, and it feels as if I am connected with existence itself, as if I am one with existence. Beloved master, would you please talk to us again about the state of let-go and melting into existence.

"I have only been waiting for the morning so that I can see you for the last time and bless you for the last time; otherwise in the middle of the night I was evaporating. Now it is not a meaningful question to ask. So come close to me, receive my blessings; Bokoju is going, and from tomorrow this room will be empty to the ordinary eyes -- but to those who had loved me, it will be still full of my presence. And those who have loved me totally, they may even hear every morning a sound coming from nowhere, `Bokoju are you still here?' -- `Yes, sir.'" And the story is that only two disciples were able to hear it after he was dead, disposed of, but many felt his presence. Those two disciples became enlightened very soon. Even when you are becoming one with existence, it does…