How can I love better?

Question: BELOVED OSHO, HOW CAN I LOVE BETTER? Indradhanu, love is enough unto itself. It needs no betterment. It is perfect as it is; it is not in any way to be more perfect. The very desire shows a misunderstanding about love and its nature. Can you have a perfect circle? All circles are perfect; if they are not perfect, they are not circles. Perfection is intrinsic to a circle and the same is the law about love. You cannot love less, and you cannot love more -- because it is not a quantity. It is a quality which is immeasurable. Your very question shows that you have never tasted what love is, and you are trying to hide your lovelessness in a desire of, "how to love better." No-one who knows love can ask this question.

There are lovers and no love. Parents pretend they love their children, children pretend they love their parents, husbands pretend, wives pretend -- pretensions and pretensions... And it is not that they are doing it knowingly, they may be completely unaware of the fact. But the root cause is... If everybody was told from the very beginning that love is the greatest art in life because it is the greatest magic, the most miraculous phenomenon.... You cannot take it for granted, you have to explore it, you have to go deeply into it, you have to learn its ways. It is an art. People learn painting for years; then too, only in thousands of painters does one become a Picasso. People learn music for years and then only once in a while is there a Yehudi Menuhin or Ravi Shankar.

One has to sow the seeds; one has to prepare the soil. One has to be very loving, careful. One has to defend the new sprouts, because there are a thousand and one dangers, and love is very delicate. One has to handle it carefully: love is very subtle and the world is very gross. Love is like a flower, and in the world you will find only rocks and rocks. The flower can be crushed very easily. Its beauty can be destroyed at any moment. It is a miracle that it happens in such a hard world, but it does happen. Love makes one aware that miracles are possible. There is no other miracle which is bigger than love. Be a gardener of love. Let your heart be the soil Tend the garden carefully in the right time, when the spring comes.

Osho, your answer about the heart which was approximately yogi reminded me of the following interchange: wife: "darling, since we married, do you love me more, or less?" husband: "more or less."

To ask about love in terms of more or less is stupid, because love can neither be more nor less. Either it is or it is not. It is not a quantity; it is a quality. It cannot be measured; it is immeasurable. You cannot say more, you cannot say less. The question is irrelevant, but lovers go on asking because they don't know what love is. Whatsoever they know must be something else. It cannot be love because love is not quantitative. How can you love more? How can you love less? Either you love or you don't love. Love surrounds you, fills you totally, or disappears completely and is not there... not even a trace is left behind. Love is a totality. You cannot divide it; division is not possible. Love is indivisible. If you have not come across such love which is indivisible then be alert. Then…

Beloved Osho, I feel we all use the word love like another four-letter word -- not really knowing at all what this state is. Can you please talk about what love really is?

Kendra, you are right. The way people use the word love is exactly like a four-letter word, obscene -- because to call it lust would be offensive. If you say to someone, "I lust for you," you can't expect that that woman is going to have any respect for you. She will say, "Lust? Then get lost!" But if you say, "I love you," then everything is good. And deep in your mind you are simply lusting. It is a biological desire to use the woman but a beautiful word hides the ugly reality. The problem is that people are not aware of what love is, so they are not only deceiving others, they are themselves deceived. They also think it is love. Love needs immense consciousness. Love is a meeting of two souls, and lust is the meeting of two bodies. Lust is animal; love is divine. But unless…