Can one ever find a perfect partner in marriage?

Question: BELOVED MASTER, CANNOT ONE EVER FIND A PERFECT PARTNER IN MARRIAGE? Sagaro, perfect people don't exist. And perfect people, if they existed, would be very boring. It is imperfection that keeps life interesting. Just think of a perfect husband, a perfect wife: they will be utterly bored! Bertrand Russell is reported to have said: I don't want to go to heaven, for the simple reason that there will be sages and sages, all perfect. Heaven is bound to be very boring. Just think of all perfect people -- what life can there be? Bertrand Russell is right: in hell there is much more life than in heaven. Heaven will certainly be dull and dead. Perfection is death; perfection is not found in the world. The world lives through imperfection, because in imperfection there is growth, evolution.

The danger of your talks on taoism is that there are a lot of lazy, irresponsible people around who rationalise their bad habits by claiming to be inactive taoists. Please clarify the difference between a taoist and a lazy escapist.

The question is from Anand Prem. The first thing, there are two dangers I have talked about: one is of egoism, another is of lethargy, laziness. And remember, if you have to fall into any trap, the trap of laziness is better than the trap of egoism. That is more dangerous, because the lazy person has never done anything wrong, a lazy person cannot do. He will never do any good -- okay, but he will never do any wrong either. He will not bother to kill anybody, to torture anybody, to create concentration camps, to go to war he will not bother. He says 'Why? When one can rest, why?' A lazy person is not naturally a danger. The only thing that he may miss may be his own spiritual growth, but he will not interfere with anybody else's growth; he will not be an interference. He will not…

I have just recently been helped to discover that nobody is perfect and to let go of my fantasy of a perfect person. Now I am left with my feelings of loving and hating the same person and I find it difficult to live with such intense, seemingly polar opposites in myself. Anything to do?

It is said about Nero that he was so much obsessed with food that he had four doctors following him wherever he would go. And those four doctors' duty was to make him vomit. He would eat too much and the doctors would make him vomit, and then he would eat too much again -- immediately. To make it possible for him, so he could eat many times in a day, the only way was to help him vomit. Now this is madness. And how can you enjoy food when you are continuously vomiting? It is nauseating, the very idea is nauseating. And when you digest it you will throw your whole system into a chaos. It is the mind being destructive to the body. When you eat, enjoy it totally. But then there is a need for six to eight hours' fast -- only then does the hunger arise…

Question: OSHO, IS THERE ANY SUCH THING AS A REAL MARRIAGE? But now Sagarpriya will follow him; if there is any possibility she will destroy even that. The best thing is to let him go, to say goodbye to him in a nice, beautiful, human way, with no grudge, with no complaint, with no quarreling. If you quarrel too much, if you make such a fuss, then people will start compromising, but compromise cannot fulfill you. And remember, men are so tortured in the outside world, in the office, in the factory, in the shop, everywhere, that at least at home they want peace. For their peace they compromise. Hence almost all husbands become henpecked. And the problem is, no wife can love a henpecked husband, and every wife tries to henpeck her husband! This is how we create misery. In the first place marriage is wrong.

Beloved Osho, I always feel that I find a wrong lover, always something doesn't fit well and I feel frustrated. Please, I need your message.

This is the problem everybody is facing... if not today, then tomorrow. Something is always missing, something seems to be wrong, something is not fitting; all lovers throughout history have the same problem. One has to go really deep into it, because it is not one man's problem or one woman's problem. In the first place we are all living lives according to fictions, poetries, film stories. That has given humanity a wrong impression, the impression that when there is love everything will fit, that there will be no conflict. For centuries poets have been giving the idea that lovers are made for each other. Nobody is made for anybody else. Everybody is different from everybody else. You may love a person without knowing that you love the person only because there is so much difference between you, so much distance. The distance is a challenge, the distance is an…