Self Control

Osho, I cannot control myself when insulted. What should I do?

Dheeresh, TIT FOR TAT -- till you become enlightened. And do it quickly, because once you become enlightened then it is very difficult to do anything. When somebody insults you, somebody insults you. You have simply to accept it: ais dhammo sanantano. So whatsoever you want to do, do it right now, finish it, because here you will soon become enlightened; it is not very far away. And it is natural that when somebody insults you you cannot control yourself. I have never been telling you to control yourself because control can't help. If you control you repress; control is another name for repression. If you can watch, watch; otherwise if there is a choice between repression and indulging, prefer indulgence to repression because indulgence will teach you a lesson. Repression won't teach you anything. And you are not a machine, you are a man. Warning in the year 2000:…

Beloved master, "he has tamed his horses...." yes! But how to do it? What is the way to tame them? I either control, repress and stop myself, or I am led by my senses and driven by my "animal." with both I feel not at ease and I constantly move from one side, repression, to the other -- driven. How to come out of this trap? Is watching and awareness all there is to do?

But I understand your trouble; this is the trouble of almost everybody in the world. Either you control or you start indulging, and you don't know how to remain exactly in the middle. Indulgence is also destructive. Repression is destructive, indulgence is destructive -- because these are two extremes. One fasts for many days; he is trying to control, repress his hunger, his body's needs. Another eats too much, goes on stuffing. It is said that Nero used to have four physicians always around him because he was a lover, a mad lover, of food; he was obsessed with food. He would eat too much, and the physicians' work was to help him vomit so that he could eat again. And this he would do many times in the day. Otherwise you can eat only once, if you live in a primitive, aboriginal part of Africa... because for centuries they…

Beloved master, what is the relationship between mastery over the self and control?

Nasruddin said, "I am a poor sinner, my dream was very ordinary -- very ordinary, not worth even telling. But because you insist and because we have agreed, I will tell you. In my sleep God appeared and he said, 'You fool! What are you doing? Eat the halva!' So I have eaten it -- because how can I deny his order? There is no halva left now!" Self-control gives you the subtlest ego. Self-control has more self in it than anything else. But self-mastery is a totally different phenomenon; it has no self in it. Control is cultivated, practiced; with great effort you have to manage it. It is a long struggle, then you arrive at it. Mastery is not a cultivated thing, it is not to be practiced. Mastery is nothing but understanding. It is not control at all. For example, you can control anger, you can repress…

If one is in the situation of muso's disciple -- wishing to terminate a samurai for daring to assault the master -- should one do it with concrete totality, and meditate after- wards, or suppress the ego-based impulse, or is there a third alternative?

The first thing, and the most basic to be understood, is that whatsoever you do, it should not be a reaction. If it is an act then there is no problem. If Muso's disciple had acted out of his spontaneity, Muso would have certainly blessed him, but he started saying, that he would like to do this, he cannot allow this man to live any more, he has insulted his master.... If he had acted rather than brooding about it, rather than bringing the mind in; if he had acted with no-mind, the master would have certainly blessed him. Action is always good; reaction always bad. So try first to understand this term 'reaction'. It means you are acting unconsciously. Somebody is manipulating you. Somebody says something, does something, and you react. The real master of the situation is somebody else. Somebody comes and insults you and you react, you…