Why is it difficult to stay awake during lectures, and what is the impact on memory retention?

I don't understand why it is so difficult to stay awake during lecture and taped lecture. It is like being drugged. Yet it seems to make no difference whether I am awake or asleep as, afterwards, in either case, I cannot remember what it is you have said. Yet I feel deeply affected inside. Can you explain please?

Kalika, this is the way to listen to me. You have found the key. It is not a question of listening to what I am saying -- that is really irrelevant; there is no need to remember it either. In fact, to remember it will be dangerous; it will become knowledge, it will be your memory, it will enhance your ego. It is perfectly right, in fact it should be always so: you need not remember it, let it slip out of the memory. Listen to it as totally as possible, but don't try to remember it at all. You are not preparing for any examination, you are preparing for an explosion. And the explosion is not going to happen in your memory, it is going to happen in your heart. And the heart knows; it has its own ways of knowing. So even if you fall asleep, the heart…

Beloved Osho, ever since I have been with you listening, listening, I was never able to remember anything you said. As so often before, you are speaking from my own heart, but the moment the words are heard, they are forgotten too. Can you please say something? Am I not really listening?

It is perfectly good. It is as it should be, because this is not a kindergarten school where you have to remember every word spoken by me. Here the emphasis is not on remembering; the emphasis is on listening. If you have listened in silence, then whatever is significant will be absorbed by the heart. You may forget the words.... Words are only containers, not the content. The content will be absorbed in the heart, and the containers have to be thrown away. You cannot carry all the containers always. Listen perfectly. Never bother about remembering -- because that is a disturbance. Doing the two things together, then one starts taking notes -- if not visibly, then inside in the mind. No, don't create disturbance; just listen. If something is true, your heart will simply absorb it. And the heart has no memory system. The memory system is in the…

Why, when I try to listen to your lectures with total attention, can I afterwards not remember what you have said?

There is no need. If you have listened to me with total attention there is no need to remember what I have said. It becomes part of you. You eat something do you remember what you have eaten? What is the use? It becomes part of you -- it becomes your blood; it becomes your bones. It becomes you. Once you eat something, you forget about it. You digest it, not that you remember it. If you listen totally, I am converting into your blood, I am converting into your bones, I am converting into your being. You are digesting me. There is no need. Whenever there will be a situation, you will respond; and in that response all that you have heard and listened to in totality will be there -- but not as remembered... but as lived. And this difference has to be remembered. Whatsoever I am trying…

A lot of us fall off to sleep during your discourses or go into a dozy state. You must see it happen. Is this dozing part of any creative positive process? Should we allow it to happen without feeling guilty about it, or should we make a greater effort to stay aware?

It is a little complicated. First, there are many types. There is a sort of doziness which comes if you listen to me very attentively. Then it is not like a sleep, it is more like hypnosis. You are in such deep tune with me that your mind starts non-functioning. You simply listen to me, and just listening to me becomes like a lullaby. A certain doziness is there if this is the case, but this will come only when you listen to me very attentively. Then it is not a sleep. It is beautiful and you should not feel guilty about it. If it is created by listening to me then there is no problem. In fact, this should be the case, because then you are listening deeper and deeper. Then I am penetrating you very, very deep, and you are feeling like a doze because the mind is…

Sometimes at your lectures I can't keep my eyes open or concentrate, and keep falling somewhere and coming back with a jerk. There is no memory of where I have been. Am I going deep, or just falling asleep?

That's how in the morning you remember that in the night there were so many dreams, or on some day you say, "I slept very deeply; there were no dreams." These are both memories -- one positive, one negative. If dream happens there will be a positive memory -- something was happening, certain activity going on. If there is no dream you will have just a peaceful remembrance of nothing, that nothing happened. But this you will remember: that nothing happened and no dream crossed my mind and sleep was really deep, very deep, not a single ripple. But you will remember and you will say, "I was very blissful." But if you fall not asleep but into the meditative state -- they are similar, almost similar -- than you will not be able to remember anything. Because when you fall into a meditative state, theta, or sometimes you can…