According to Osho, your disturbance arose not from his sexuality but from your expectations—ancient conditioning that demands masters conform to disciples’ ideals (celibacy, austerity, etc.). When he defies that image, your ego—attached to its 'holy' criteria—feels threatened. He insists the true relationship is freedom without contracts; shattering projections reveals your conditioning and what you idolize rather than truth.
You felt upset because you wanted him to fit your idea of a holy person, and when he didn’t, your conditioned mind resisted.
From the Discourses
Passages where Osho speaks to this question — each links to the complete discourse.
Beloved Osho, when you said that you are not celibate, I was shocked. I guess I thought you had transcended sex. Why did this disturb me?
I was also shocked, because I was thinking you all would be shocked and only one camel got the shock. But his question is meaningful. You were shocked, Mr. Camel, because you had certain expectations of me. It is strange -- I don't expect anything from you, and you go on expecting how I should be, what I should do, what I should not. I am giving you total freedom, and you want me to be a prisoner of your expectations? You were shocked because of the long, ancient tradition of a very surprising phenomenon: masters have been imposing their ideas on their disciples; in return the disciples were imposing their ideas on the masters. And it was not that the master was really a master -- because he followed his own followers, he fulfilled their expectations. If he does not fulfill their expectations all his respectability is gone, the…
Beloved Osho, I have been a sannyasin for one year, and feel like a kangaroo who has to make big jumps to follow you. Today, I was shocked to read that you had said you may not remain celibate when you are healthy again. I thought you had said that an enlightened person has transcended sex. Yet, I know how beautiful it is to make love. Why do I feel so confused?
One always feels confused if one has expectations. Now who told you that enlightened people transcend sex? And immediately you are saying, "... although love is such a beautiful experience." So why prevent enlightened people from having such a beautiful experience? But the idea has been created down the centuries that the truly religious people are celibate, and particularly that the enlightened person is celibate. I have never been celibate. Amongst so many beautiful women, you want me to be celibate? It is like standing by a beautiful spring, purest water flowing from the top of the hill, and you are standing thirsty by the side of it because you are enlightened. Forget all about it! I will take care of enlightenment later on -- right now I am going to drink from this beautiful spring. And you have also misunderstood. I have said enlightened people transcend sex, but I…
Osho, I am a thirty-five-year-old celibate since boyhood—unbroken! But for some time now, whenever I sit for practice, women suddenly appear all around! Osho, does Indra want to break my austerities?
But the man who ran away into the forest couldn’t even do that—there were no women there to blame. Then nets of imagination arose within. The tide of sexuality he had suppressed in himself began to thrash, to assert, to surge into dreams. Psychologists say that if you live in solitude for three weeks and suppress any one thing, then after three weeks you will begin to dream with open eyes while awake. This is a psychological truth, verified by experiment. What you see at night with closed eyes in sleep, you begin to see in the day with open eyes—so palpably that it appears right in front of you. Hallucinations arise. And this is not a matter of three days. Atmanand Brahmachari, you say, “I am a thirty-five-year-old celibate since boyhood.” If for thirty-five years you have been imposing celibacy upon yourself, it’s no surprise if women begin to…
Beloved Osho, since being with you, I have noticed that when a person becomes closely related to you they sometimes get a fixed idea about who you are. It seems like they forget who you really are and even why they have come to you. This situation puzzles me, even scares me a little. Would you please comment?
I seem to you self-contradictory, inconsistent, for the simple reason that I have decided not to die before I die. I am going to live to the very last breath, so you cannot be certain about me till my last breath. After that you can make any image of me and be satisfied with it. But remember, it will not be me. To be with me needs courage, and the greatest courage is being capable of seeing the change and moving with it. It may be difficult; it is easy to have one idea once and then be finished. A Sufi story... Mulla Nasruddin is appointed as the prime minister of a king because he was known to be very wise; somewhat weird was his wisdom, but still, wisdom is wisdom. The first day when they went to have their dinner together, a certain vegetable called bindhi was made by…
Beloved Osho, your relationship with your disciples seems to be unique among the religions. Would you say something about this?
The person who made it possible for you to have those few moments, the woman, the man -- be grateful, immensely grateful to the person. Yes, those moments are no more there. Nothing can be done about it. They cannot be pulled back, and even if there was some way to pull them back, they would not be the same. It would be a repetition. It wouldn't bring you the same joy, the same ecstasy. It is good that they cannot be pulled back, otherwise even the memory of those cherished moments would be spoiled. Respect the person, be grateful to the person that, for no reason at all -- she is a stranger, you are a stranger -- for no reason at all, for no bargain, there was no business... mysteriously the universe managed; something transpired between you. And it was nourishing to both of you. It has made…