According to Osho, your jealousy isn’t about your wife at all—it’s your own ego, unconsciousness, and inner misery seeking an excuse. Stop blaming outer triggers; take full responsibility. Turn inward: watch the feeling of jealousy moment-to-moment, without condemning or acting on it. In such choiceless awareness, its energy dissolves. Don’t change the object; transform the observer through awareness, and jealousy will vanish without residue.
Don’t blame your wife; quietly notice your jealous feelings inside you until, by watching them without reacting, they fade away.
From the Discourses
Passages where Osho speaks to this question — each links to the complete discourse.
Beloved master, I am a very jealous person, particularly as far as my wife is concerned. Even if she looks at anybody, I become enraged. What should I do?
Gyaneshwar, it has nothing to do with your wife. If the wife is not there you will be jealous about something else. Remember always: don't be too much concerned about outer causes, because causes are not outside you. Outside are only excuses; causes are inside you. You are full of jealousy; the wife simply functions as an excuse. Don't be too much worried about the excuse, because that is wasting time. Look inside yourself: why are you jealous? Jealousy means ego, jealousy means unconsciousness. Jealousy means that you have not known even a moment of joy and bliss; you are living in misery. Jealousy is a by-product of misery, ego, unconsciousness. Forget all about the wife; otherwise you will remain concerned about the wife, and that is a way of escaping from the real cause. The real cause is always inside. And not only about jealousy, remember, about all problems…
Our beloved Osho,
WHENEVER YOU SPEAK OF OUR FAILINGS, YOU USUALLY MENTION ANGER, SEX AND JEALOUSY. ANGER AND SEX SEEM FAIRLY STRAIGHTFORWARD, BUT THERE'S SOME CONFUSION ABOUT EXACTLY WHAT JEALOUSY IS, AND IT'S HARDER TO GET TO THE CORE. WOULD YOU TELL US ABOUT JEALOUSY? I have heard that once it happened that Winston Churchill was invited to speak in a small club of friends. Everybody knew that Churchill was a drunkard and loved alcohol very much, and the man who introduced him, the president of the club, said, "Sir Winston has drunk so much wine up to now, that if we pour all the wine into this hall the level will come up to my head." It was a big hall, and he was just joking. Winston Churchill stood, looked at the imaginary line, looked at the ceiling -- the ceiling was high -- became very sad, and he said, "So much…
Osho, how can I take sannyas? I cannot get jealousy, ego, anger—anything at all—out of my mind. And you keep appearing before me day and night in dreams! What should I do?
Why does jealousy arise? Because someone seems to be getting ahead of you. Someone has bought a better sari, more beautiful jewelry, built a new house, gathered more money in a safe. Jealousy is born because your ego is bruised. A fire flares up inside, smoke begins to rise. You climb onto your own funeral pyre. Anxiety is born inside you. Anger means someone blocks your ego. You set out on a journey of conquest and someone stands in your way, a stone falls in your path because of someone, someone shoves you aside—someone becomes an obstacle. Anger erupts. Anger and jealousy are not very different—two sides of the same coin. Anger is a bit crude; jealousy a bit more civilized. I have heard a Rajasthani tale. A proud Rajput, full of swagger, would twirl his moustache all day long. His arrogance was such that he never allowed anyone else…
Question: BELOVED OSHO, MASTER OF MASTERS, I WANT TO TELL YOU THAT I AM TOTALLY TURNED ON TO YOU, AND IT'S JUST FAR OUT BEING WITH YOU. I HAVE JUST ONE QUESTION, MAYBE IT'S NOTHING SPIRITUAL BUT FOR ME IT'S QUITE SOMETHING -- MY JEALOUSY. I HAVE BEEN WITH MY BOYFRIEND FOR TWO YEARS AND WE STILL ENJOY BEING TOGETHER, BUT IF HE GOES WITH OTHER WOMEN I FREAK OUT. THIS EMOTION IS SO STRONG THAT I'M AFRAID I WILL DESTROY THIS BEAUTIFUL THING WHICH IS BETWEEN US. BELOVED OSHO, WOULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME THE VERY ROOTS OF JEALOUSY, HOW I CAN DEAL WITH IT, OR EVEN GO THROUGH IT? AND I ALSO WANT TO SAY THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING BUT THE WORDS DON'T EXPRESS WHAT I FEEL FOR YOU. MY HEART IS BEATING WITH LOVE FOR YOU. Idiots don't want to change anything.
Is it possible to live without jealousy unless one is enlightened?
It is possible. If you are enlightened then the question of jealousy does not arise at all; then it is impossible to have jealousy. Before enlightenment it is possible to live without jealousy. You just have to look into the causes of jealousy. What makes you jealous? -- possessiveness. Jealousy itself is not the root. You love a woman, you love a man; you want to possess the man or the woman just out of fear that perhaps tomorrow he may move with somebody else. The fear of tomorrow destroys your today, and it is a vicious circle. If every day is destroyed because of the fear of tomorrow, sooner or later the man is going to look for some other woman because you are just a pain in the neck. And when he starts looking for another woman or starts moving with another woman, you think your jealousy has…