Chasing praise makes your pretend self bigger; when you stop chasing and relax, you notice the whole world was already smiling at you.
From the Discourses
Passages where Osho speaks to this question — each links to the complete discourse.
Beloved Osho, why is it that I feel I need to have approval and be recognized, in my work especially? It puts me in a trap -- I cannot do without it. I know I am in this trap but I am caught in it and I cannot seem to get out of it. Can you help me be able to find the door?
While I was teaching in the university, the same thing came about from a different angle. Now I was asking the students questions to bring to their attention that all the knowledge that they have gathered is borrowed, and they know nothing. I told them that I don't care about their degrees, I care about their authentic experience -- and they don't have any. They are simply repeating books which are out of date; long ago they have been proved wrong. Now the authorities of the university were threatening me, "If you continue in this way, harassing students, you will be thrown out of the university." I said, "This is strange -- I was a student and I could not ask questions to the professors; now I am a professor and I cannot ask questions to the students! So what function is this university fulfilling? It should be a place…
Beloved Osho, I am aware of my need for approval and acceptance from others. I don't want to be driven by this need. How does it resolve?
Drop all this nonsense! You are already approved of, otherwise you could not have been here. God has accepted you, given birth to you. If van Gogh paints, whatsoever painting he creates is already approved of -- otherwise he would not have created it in the first place. If Picasso paints something, in the very painting, the painting is approved of. The painter has put his heart into it. Just go deeper into your own being -- God has put all the treasures that you need there. He has approved of you, accepted you. He is happy that you are! But you don't look there. You are asking from others like a beggar: Approve of me! -- and they are also beggars just like you. Beggars asking beggars. Even if they approve of you a little, they will wait for you to approve of them. It is going to be…
Beloved Osho, often, when I come to see you I want some kind of recognition: a sign that you see me, that you know I exist -- a look, a hand gesture, perhaps to answer a question. You never respond to this. Feeling the tension and pain this longing causes in me, I cry and then relax. An opening is there and you look my way. Osho, must I always go through this way of pain and tears to reach my inner being? I am jewish by conditioning -- could that be part of it?
You say, "I am Jewish by conditioning. Could that be part of it?" It certainly is. But once you have become a sannyasin, you are no longer Jewish. A sannyasin is simply a human being. Your conditioning is there, but rather than continuing the tears and pain, start singing and dancing. Even if it feels a little difficult in the beginning, the conditioning can be changed; you can be unconditioned. At the conclusion of the physical exam, the doctor summoned his patient into his office with a very grave look on his face. "I hate to be the one to break it to you, Fred," he said, "but I'm afraid you have only got six months to live." "Oh my god!" gasped Fred, turning white. When the news had sunk in his heart he said, "Listen, Doc, you have known me a long time. Do you have any suggestions as…
Question: BELOVED OSHO WHY AM I SUCH A BEGGAR FOR ATTENTION? WHAT CAN I DO ABOUT IT? In the middle ages there were doctors in Europe... because the woman's virginity can be judged, checked. There is a very thin layer of skin -- if she has not been in a sexual relationship, that skin remains intact; if she has been in a sexual relationship, that skin is broken. That broken skin proves that she is not a virgin. Now sometimes it can be broken just by riding on a bicycle, it can be broken by riding on a horse, it can be broken by any accident -- falling from the staircase. It is not something that can be broken only by making love.
As an artist, I tend to claim my perceptions, desiring recognition for sharing my visions with others. My ego is strong. How can the western artist be free of ego and transcend the dichotomy of the aesthetic and the spiritual?
If she loves and shares her being, in that sharing she is beautiful. There is no need even to say, "You are beautiful." If someone says it, okay; if somebody doesn't say it, that doesn't mean that it has not been said, because there are deeper ways to say things. Sometimes to remain silent is the only way to speak. I have heard, that in one museum in Europe, there is a piano on which Wagner used to play. A woman came there to see it, and she was just a learner, just knowing only the ABC of it. She immediately started playing on the piano. The guide was shocked, but he was a very polite man, so he remained silent. After a few strokes, the woman said that many great musicians must have come to the museum to see this piano of Wagner, and they all must have played…