What happens when I feel tired and perceive life and death as a cycle?

I am tired. I feel I am dying all the time. But what changes? Nothing. Even if I die, life and death are perfect, perfectly round, and I go on running after my own tail. Is there no place where I can stop? One moment in which I can stop, one single moment -- but then I go on passing, running, and I miss I don't even know what. Then I cry. What else can I do?

Then again when you have reached to the climax and the ejaculation happens and the orgasm happens, before you start returning from the peak -- you have reached the peak and then the return -- between these two, again the gap. Find that gap, and you will have found the very secret of meditation. Tantra has used these gaps as meditation, and they are the greatest. The gap that you will find in breathing is not such an intense gap, because breathing is such an ordinary phenomenon, taken for granted. If you look between two thoughts in the mind you will find the gap. But the gap that you will find in your sexual orgasm will be most intense, because that is the most intense experience of your life -- where you again go wild, where you again explode into thousands of pieces. You fall altogether in parts, you fall…

A friend has asked: Osho, in the very first stage of meditation I feel completely exhausted within a minute or two.

No, you don’t actually get tired; the thought of being tired arises. The thought of tiredness is a big thing. When you feel, “I’m utterly exhausted,” if at that very moment someone were to come after you with a gun, threatening to kill you, you would discover you’re not tired at all. You’d run for miles, and the fatigue would vanish. What happened? You were tired, weren’t you? Someone is chasing you with a gun—how are you running now? In truth, we have no idea how much power lies within us. We live using only the small amount of energy that floats on the surface. When that little portion gets a bit weary, we conclude, “Now I’m tired; that’s the end of it.” The moment you feel fatigue, begin again with even more intensity. Within two minutes you will find the tiredness has disappeared and a great energy has surged…

Osho, if this energy is abundant, one shouldn’t feel tired; one should feel fresh.

No—at the beginning you will feel tired. Gradually you will feel a great freshness, a freshness you have never known. But at first there will be fatigue. The initial fatigue is because your identity is with the senses. You take them to be “I.” So when the senses get tired, you say, “I am tired.” This is exactly where your identity needs to break, isn’t it? It’s like this: your horse gets tired while you are sitting on it—but you have always believed, “I am the horse.” Now the horse is tired and you say, “We are finished, we are exhausted.” What we call “our” tiredness simply reflects where our identity lies. If I am the horse, then I am tired. The day you know “I am not the horse,” a very different kind of freshness will begin to arise. Then you will know: the senses are tired—but where am…

While in a peaceful state of being, I watched a bird flying by. I thought, "this would be a nice time to die." yet during the "stop" exercise when I was feeling some discomfort, I experienced maybe as much separation as ever. Do the conditions of the particular moment of death determine something about the nature of an enlightened being? Or vice versa?

FIRST: this is a sort of calamity that has befallen human beings. Somehow, when things are going beautifully, and you feel calm and quiet and collected, why do you start thinking of death? The questioner says: "While in a peaceful state of being, I watched a bird flying by. I thought, 'This would be a nice time to die!"' Why not think: This would be a nice time to live! Why think: This would be a nice time to die! Something is implied in All over the world, and in the West more so, people have been taught not to be happy, not to enjoy life, not to be ecstatic. People have been taught that to be happy is somehow to be guilty. People have become deep down very much conditioned: when they feel happy, they almost always feel guilt arising. When they feel sad, everything is good. When they…

Osho, when we enter deep meditation, the body gradually becomes inert and the breath begins to grow very faint, as if it were disappearing. Because of this slowing of the breath, the oxygen in the body decreases. So what is the relationship between this lack of oxygen and the body’s becoming inert with meditation and samadhi?

Therefore we cannot call God “alive”—for to call that alive which has no possibility of dying is meaningless. God has no life; God is existence. We have life; when we are outside existence we have life; when we return into existence, that is our death. A wave rises in the ocean—that is the life of the wave. Before it rose there was no wave, there was the ocean—no stir, no wave. The wave rises: life begins; the wave falls: that is the wave’s death. But the ocean’s waveless existence—the one that was there before the wave arose and will be there after it subsides—the experience of that existence, that tranquility, is samadhi. So samadhi is not the experience of life; it is the experience of existence; it is existential. There, breath is not needed. There, breath has no meaning. There, there is no question of breath at all. There, at…