What happens when I feel exceptional and different from others?

What is the difference between being special and being unique?

Never try to be special. In the very idea of being special you are feeling inferior. In the very idea of being superior to somebody or inferior to somebody you have lost contact with yourself, with your uniqueness. In that very idea you have become your own enemy. Now you will be in trouble, you will create more and more misery for yourself and for others, you will create ripples of misery all around you. A man who simply relaxes in his uniqueness is a man who creates ripples of bliss around him. He lives in bliss and he creates pulsations of bliss for others also. If you are around such a person you will suddenly be showered with great peace and love and silence and happiness -- because he is happy. The moment you accept your uniqueness, your individuality, how can you be unhappy? Just think of it in…

I always either feel superior or inferior to people. I feel ashamed of feeling that way and try to hide it. I wish I could genuinely -- not pretend to -- feel equal to and love everyone. Why is it so difficult?

WHETHER YOU FEEL SUPERIOR OR INFERIOR or equal, the mind remains the same. You still go on thinking in comparison and the misery will continue. You can think yourself superior -- the moment you think yourself superior you are creating possibilities to feel inferior, because somebody somewhere is going to be ahead of you in some way or other. If you think yourself inferior, you are creating the possibilities to feel superior -- in some way, somebody is going to be behind you. We are standing in a queue, and the queue is not linear: it is a circle. Somebody is always ahead of you and somebody is always behind you. Then naturally the idea arises -- because superiority and inferiority bring ego and misery -- why not feel equal? And you think you are asking for a radical change? No, not at all. To feel equal is the same…

How can I stop wanting to be special?

Because you ARE special, and there is no need to be special. You ARE special, you ARE unique -- God never creates anything less than that. Everyone is unique, utterly unique. There has been no person like you before, and there will NEVER be a person like you again. God has taken this form for the first time and the last time, so there is no need to try to become special, you already are. If you are trying to be special you will become ordinary. Your very effort is rooted in misunderstanding. It will create confusion, because when you try to become special you have taken one thing tor granted -- that you are not special. You have become ordinary already. You have missed the point. Now, once you have taken it for granted that you are ordinary, how can you become special? You will try this way and…

This feeling I have of being someone exceptional and different has taken me away from people. Is this constant judging my barrier? And what is this subtle fear of feeling inferior? Why can't I be natural and spontaneous? Why can't I leave this constant judging which brings misery to me?

THE MOMENT ONE STARTS THINKING that one has to be exceptional, extraordinary, someone special, one will remain in misery for ever -- because everybody is ALREADY special, already exceptional, already extraordinary. Now, how can you make an extraordinary person more extraordinary? You are going to fail. People fail in attaining extraordinariness because they are already it. ,If they were not, they might have succeeded. Each individual is unique, incomparable. Never before has there been anybody like you, and never again will there be anybody like you. You are just yourself, a class unto yourself. Now, trying to become exceptional is foolish. You have to relax and see that you are unique -- you need not become unique. If you try to transform gold into gold you will fail, because... how can you succeed? In the first place the gold is gold; you can transform baser metals into gold but you…

There is a great difference between longing and desire. Desire is of the mind, longing is of the heart. Desire is greed, longing is not greed. Desire is never fulfilled, it cannot be fulfilled; it always goes on asking for more. But longing can be fulfilled. Everything else that you want in life is a desire. Only when you start longing do you start moving towards god. Only god can be longed for, everything else is a desire. God cannot be desired because he can never be made an object of your thoughts, imagination, ego. When all these have disappeared, when you are no more functioning as a head, when you are overflowing with love, then suddenly, as if a lotus has opened in your heart, a longing opens up. That longing is fragrant, that longing in itself is a tremendous joy.