What is the psychology behind why people pretend to be what they are not?

Beloved Osho, why does everyone want to pretend to be what they are not? What is the psychology behind it?

You are being taught everything, but you are not being taught to be yourself. This is the ugliest form of society possible, because it makes everybody miserable. I have heard of another great man, a great professor of literature who was being retired from the university. All the university professors had gathered, all his friends had gathered, and they were rejoicing. But suddenly they became aware that he was missing. One of his friends, an attorney, went out... perhaps he in was the garden. But what was he doing there? He was sitting under a tree. The attorney was his closest friend, a boyhood friend. The attorney said, "What are you doing here?" He said, "What I am doing here? Remember fifty years ago? -- I came to tell you that I wanted to kill my wife. And you said, `Don't do any such thing. Otherwise -- fifty years in…

Why are people so fake?

Shortly afterwards, he received from his devoted musicians a luxurious, velvet lined box containing two watches -- one a beautiful gold timepiece, the other a cheap one on which was inscribed: For rehearsals only. So keep that in mind. When you are moving in the world, moving with people, there is no need to carry your cross. There is no need to go on shouting loudly that you are a martyr or a Jesus or a Mansoor, there is no need. Follow the rules of the game. It is just a game. But remember always that the game should not become your whole life. That's all I would like my sannyasins to remember. That's why I don't take you out of society. Never has it been done before. For a single reason it has never been done before -- the reason was that Buddha would not allow his sannyasins to…

The intelligent man inevitably lives in society only theatrically. His relationship with society is a drama. But if the theatricality becomes inward, trouble begins. Wear a face for the other—if that pleases the other, what harm? But when you are alone, at least then, put the face aside. For whom are you wearing it? Whom are you deceiving now? If this is conscious, personality is not a bondage—it becomes a skill. In relationships, it works as a lubricant; it reduces friction, saves needless abrasion. But for yourself, in your solitude, if you sit with that mask, you are killing yourself. With society, personality; with yourself, no personality. Until the bonds of personality loosen, the secret of the soul does not begin to open. For within the knot of personality the secret is hidden. Let us see what personality is, and how it can loosen. You forget.

Osho, Zen Master Hogen of Seiryo Monastery was just about to give his discourse before the evening meal when he noticed that the bamboo screen hung for meditation had not yet been put away. He pointed to it, and immediately two monks rose from the assembly and began to put it away. Observing that very moment, the Master said: “The first monk’s state is good, but the second’s is not.” Osho, please explain the purport of this Zen enlightenment story.

A Marwari, dying, told his lawyer: “To every servant who has served me for five years, I bequeath fifty thousand rupees.” The lawyer couldn’t believe it—he knew the man; he never gave five paise. Fifty thousand to each—and there were many servants. He asked, “Are you in your senses?” The Marwari said, “More than you. There is no servant in my house I let stay for five years! I’ll give nothing—but the news of my charity will spread.” Even at death, the relish is in reputation. The mask doesn’t drop, not even in the last moment. What people say after you die is important; what you are is not. You have no taste for being—only for others’ opinions. That is the mark of the householder. The sannyasin’s mark is: what I am is my relish. What people say—what is the use? That is their business. What I am—that is mine,…

What we go on showing others, day after day—slowly we ourselves begin to believe that we are that. Life becomes utterly artificial and false. Our love false, our character false, our personality false, our mind false, even our very prana false. With such an unnatural personality, a barrier inevitably rises. Where all is false, a wall immediately stands. What is true in our personality? What is spontaneous in us? Almost everything is contrived. Even the way we speak is contrived; our gait is contrived. Have you ever noticed? When you walk alone on the road, you walk one way; let four people come toward you, you walk another way. In your bathroom, alone—you are a different man; in your drawing room, seated—you are altogether different. What kind of personality is this that changes by the eyes of others? If those four happen to be “important” people, you change even more.