What happens when I am always afraid of others' opinions?

Why am I always afraid of others' opinion?

Because you are not, because you are not yet. You are nothing but a piled-up phenomenon of others' opinion. Who are you? Somebody says you are beautiful, so you are beautiful. And somebody says you are ugly, so you are ugly. And somebody says you are wonderful, so you are wonderful. And somebody says 'I have never seen such a nasty person', so you are a nasty person. And people go on saying, and you go on collecting all these things. And that is your image. That's why your image is very contradictory, ambiguous. One person says you are beautiful, another says you are ugly. You want to forget this person's idea that you are ugly, but you cannot forget it; it will be there. If you keep the opinion that you are beautiful you will have to keep the opinion that you are ugly too. Your image is very…

Osho, I live in constant fear that people might think badly of me. Because of this I’m even holding back from taking your sannyas. What should I do?

When I was a boy, I loved to climb down into wells and bathe. A well isn’t meant for bathing, and if you bathe in someone’s well, the owner is bound to be upset—it is for drinking. But I enjoyed leaping in. The Kabir Panthis had an ashram just behind our house. They had a fine well and a splendid garden. I had a special fondness for that well. It was deep, outside the village, no one came by—only the mahant of the monastery, Sahibdas, lived there; one or two gardeners worked. A big garden—gardeners busy here and there. A couple of other servants. Not much crowd. The well was very deep, the water crystal clear. And there was another convenience: a chain ladder hung down into the well, for men to descend for cleaning. So it was easy to climb out. I would jump in whenever I saw a…

A wrestler named o-nami great waves, was immensely strong and highly skilled in the art of wrestling. In private be defeated even his very teacher, but in public his own young pupils could throw him.

IN HIS TROUBLE HE WENT TO A ZEN MASTER WHO WAS STOPPING AT A NEARBY TEMPLE BY THE SEA, AND ASKED FOR COUNSEL. "GREAT WAVES IS YOUR NAME, " SAID THE MASTER, "SO STAY IN THIS TEMPLE TONIGHT AND LISTEN TO THE WAVES OF THE SEA. IMAGINE YOU ARE THOSE WAVES. FORGET YOU ARE A WRESTLER, AND BECOME THOSE HUGE WAVES SWEEPING EVERYTHING BEFORE THEM." O-NAMI REMAINED. HE TRIED TO THINK ONLY OF THE WAVES, BUT BE THOUGHT OF MANY THINGS. THEN GRADUALLY HE DID THINK ONLY OF THE WAVES. THEY ROLLED LARGER AND LARGER AS THE NIGHT WORE ON. THEY SWEPT AWAY THE FLOWERS IN THE VASES BEFORE THE BUDDHA; THEY SWEPT AWAY THE VASES. EVEN THE BRONZE BUDDHA WAS SWEPT AWAY. BY DAWN THE TEMPLE WAS ONLY SURGING WATER, AND O-NAMI SAT THERE WITH A FAINT SMILE ON HIS FACE. THAT DAY HE ENTERED THE PUBLIC WRESTLING AND…

Beloved Osho, listening to you talking to the journalists the other evening, I felt you are so assertive and I am such a chicken. In this country, feeling like a stranger, I am even scared of going into a shop to buy something. The more I feel good with myself and with you, the stronger is this fear of people. Is there something else to do other than watch it?

Seeing this simple fact I dropped the idea of other people's opinion, and it has given such freedom to me that it is absolutely indescribable. Such a relief that you can be just yourself -- you need not worry about it. And this world is so big, there are so many people. If I am to think about everybody and what he thinks about me, then in my life I will be simply collecting opinions of others about me, carrying files all around... When I applied for the government service as a teacher in the university -- this is my way and has always been my way -- I simply went to the education minister and I told him, "This is my application; these are my qualifications. If you want to ask anything, any interview, I am ready." He looked at me -- a strange type of behavior! An application…

[A sannyasin says: I have difficulty accepting other people s looks of disapproval, particularly now that I'm wearing orange. I seem very sensitive to it. I was wondering if you could suggest something I could do.] That's the whole purpose of orange -- so that you cannot hide yourself, and so that you stand out. You have to come to terms with every look that crosses your path. Ordinarily we are hiding in conformity. When you conform with society you become part of the crowd, and nobody is looking at you in particular. You live an anonymous existence -- that's why people live in a crowd, in society, sects, groups, parties. To stand alone, and to become a focus of others' looks, is one of the most courageous acts. The basic thing to be understood is that you are to forget what others say.