What happens to my family when I go deep into meditation?

Osho, I want to go deep into meditation. But then I get scared—what will happen to my wife and children? Vanquish my fear! Reassure me!

Wives dread Sundays—the husband at home, the children at home—such upheaval! You can somehow manage the children—but how do you manage the husband? If he’s in the house, he will tinker with something. He’ll open a perfectly running clock to “fix” it. He’ll pop the car’s hood though it’s fine. He has to do something—he can’t sit idle. He’s used to doing. He barks orders in the office; he’ll bark at home. He’ll find fault in everything. Wives are so pleased when the husband goes to the office—the headache’s gone, the commotion gone. Children to school—bliss! And do you think the children are thrilled to have you at home? “Don’t speak loudly—Daddy’s home! Don’t play—Daddy’s home! Don’t dance—Daddy’s home!” If you become peaceful, Hariprasad, no harm will come. Your wife will be happy: “Wonderful—he sits with eyes closed. Keep sitting like that! You look beautiful!” And the children will say,…

Osho, morning and evening, night and day, only thoughts of you arise. My family say I’m crazy. Lord, give me one more push so that I may plunge into deep meditation and be free of you. Manoharlal has asked.

Who are these “family”? As far as the wife is concerned—and Manoharlal’s wife is also here—so… You say “family,” but as I see it—wife. Wives are very afraid that the husband might step beyond the line. A great fear haunts them, because their concern is security: if he goes a little further, who knows what he will do! He might run away, abandon us. What will happen to the child, to me, to house and home! And it isn’t only wives who fear; if wives begin to take a deep interest in God, husbands begin to fear. Husbands obstruct too—but their obstruction is crude: “I’ll break your head, I’ll break your legs if you go there.” Crude—because men’s minds are cruder. Women come to me and say, “My husband says if I go again, he’ll break my legs.” Wives can’t break your legs; they use subtler strategies. They say, “You’re…

Another friend has also asked the same question in this regard. They have asked: Osho, if people go deep into meditation and become quiet, what will happen to the household, the family, the shop, the business—what will become of all that?

What is their condition right now? The household, the wife, the children, the shop, the business—what is their state as they are? Is it really all in such great shape? Could it get any worse than this? Yet we are terribly frightened. The hell we ourselves have created—one person calls it “family,” another “business,” another something else—about this very hell we panic that we might end up with nothing but hell! The business will not vanish. Nor will the wife, nor the family. Sons and daughters won’t disappear. But this hellish arrangement we have erected—that will certainly dissolve. New forms will appear. To love a woman is one thing; to tie her down in the house as a “wife” is quite another. The urge to bind happens precisely because there is no love. If there is love, the urge to bind cannot function. There is fear: “If I don’t bind,…

Trishu chaturtham tailavadasechyam. Magnah svachitte pravishet. Pranasamachare samadarshanam. Shivatulyo jayate. The fourth state should serve as oil to permeate the first three states. So bathed, he enters into the state of self-awareness. He who experiences the divine energy pervading everything views all things as equal, and he attains to shivahood.

In all three states -- whether you are awake, dreaming or in deep sleep -- keep the remembrance of the fourth state alive. Whatever happens on the outside, just let it be. After all, it is only the periphery. Keep your attention on the center. Be aware each moment, whether you sit or stand, eat or sleep, whether you are going home or going to your place of work. Always remember that you are the observer and not the doer. Do not take life to be anything more than acting. Don't identify yourself too much with the action. Whether you are a wife or husband, a businessman or client, don't get too involved. Don't lose yourself in it, for you are simply playing a role in the play. Keep outside of it, and within yourself. These are all necessary parts of life. You must go to work, it is necessary.…

Happiness gives you the feeling of vastness, and sadness gives you the feeling of depth -- and both are needed. For a really rich consciousness, both are needed. People who have lived superficially happy are always shallow. They cannot give birth to stars... they don't have that much chaos in them. They are mediocre. People who have touched deep sadness have become aware of many things which ordinarily no one becomes aware of. Everybody has to pass through the school of sadness, so accept it. And the uneasiness is coming because you are fighting it; the discomfort is felt because you are fighting it. Accept it, relax into it. Whatsoever life gives, accept in deep gratitude. Don't poke your nose in. Simply allow life to take you over, to possess you. Relax into it and then the discomfort will go.