Is it possible to love someone without feeling intense negative emotions towards them?

You said that western psychologists now say it is better not to avoid fighting in a love relationship, and that facing it when it comes makes the love more intense. Then you spoke of buddha's middle path which excludes both extremes. For those who have not yet transcended into the love that is beyond the two poles, which way is preferable for lovers in your opinion?

Mary felt insulted. This was rare... really, she had never invited anyone before. People would come from far away just to have a look at her. Even kings would come to her, and here was this beggar refusing her. Jesus was just a beggar, a vagabond -- just a hippie, and he refused her. So Mary said to Jesus, "Can't you feel my love? This is a love invitation. So come! Do not reject me. Don't you have any love in your heart?" Jesus said to her in reply, "I also love you -- and really, all those who come pretending that they love you, they do not love you." He said, "Only I can love you." And he was right. But that love has a different quality. That love does not have the polar opposite, the contrast. Thus the tension is missing, the excitement is missing. He is not…

You said that love is possible only with death. Then will you please explain buddha's love.

When your lover is not with you, when your beloved is not with you, the love disappears, the perfume is not there. It is an effort on your part, it is not simply your being. You have to do something to bring it out. When no one is there and Buddha is sitting alone under his Bodhi tree, then too he is a lover. It looks absurd that then too he is a lover. There is no one to be loved but still he is a lover. This being a lover is his state. And because it is his state, it is never a tension. Buddha cannot get tired of his love. You will get tired, because it is something you are doing. So lovers get tired of each other if there is too much love. They get tired, they need gaps, intervals, to recuperate. If you are with your…

I have just recently been helped to discover that nobody is perfect and to let go of my fantasy of a perfect person. Now I am left with my feelings of loving and hating the same person and I find it difficult to live with such intense, seemingly polar opposites in myself. Anything to do?

It is said about Nero that he was so much obsessed with food that he had four doctors following him wherever he would go. And those four doctors' duty was to make him vomit. He would eat too much and the doctors would make him vomit, and then he would eat too much again -- immediately. To make it possible for him, so he could eat many times in a day, the only way was to help him vomit. Now this is madness. And how can you enjoy food when you are continuously vomiting? It is nauseating, the very idea is nauseating. And when you digest it you will throw your whole system into a chaos. It is the mind being destructive to the body. When you eat, enjoy it totally. But then there is a need for six to eight hours' fast -- only then does the hunger arise…

[A sannyasin asks about his relationship which is bringing up some hatred and aggression on both sides.] Mm, it's natural. When you allow love to come out, hate will also come out. That's why many people repress their love -- because they have been taught to repress their hate and they are both aspects of the same energy. They are not two; they are one. So when love comes up, hate will also, and if you repress hate, love will be repressed simultaneously. ... If you understand, you will not think in terms of wanting or not wanting. It is a fact. Your wanting or not wanting does not make any difference. One has to accept it, one has to accept whatsoever is. What can you do? If you repress hate -- and your dislike will repress it -- then immediately love will be repressed.

Beloved Osho, would you please tell us more about what the sufis call "adab"? Is it a "tariqa"... A method that extends beyond the physical presence of the master, becoming part of the innermost being of the disciple and reflecting, in every action of his daily?

Radha Mohammed, yes, adab is a tariqa, a method. It is the beginning of something very immense, of something utterly incomprehensible to the intellect. It is the first step of a great eternal pilgrimage. To be with the Master is simply a lesson in how to be with God. That's why down the ages the Master has been called "God". It is very symbolic, it is a metaphor. The word "metaphor" is beautiful. Meta means beyond, phor means going: that which takes you beyond. The Master is a metaphor -- he takes you beyond himself. He is just a beginning, a jumping-board. To be with the Master is nothing but a discipline in how to be with God. God is not visible, the Master is visible; it is easier to learn from the visible and then move to the invisible. Have you looked into children's books? We have to make…