Does love only happen when it wants, or is there something we do to allow it?

Beloved master, does love only happen when it wants or is there something we do, let down, open up, to allow it?

Madhuma, positively, nothing can be done; negatively, much can be done. You will have to learn what negative action is. Lao Tzu calls it WU-WEI: doing without doing, action without action, effort without effort. It is one of the most significant things to learn. We know how to do things; that is a positive, aggressive, masculine way. There is another approach, more subtle, more graceful, more feminine: to be in a state of let-go, to be in a state of surrender, and to allow existence to flow through you. That is doing through nondoing. In a sense it is negative, because you are not doing anything. Sitting silently, doing nothing, the spring comes and the grass grows by itself. This is the secret of real meditation: sit silently, do nothing. Wait.... Wait patiently. Wait in deep trust that the existence cares about you, that whenever you are ready and ripe…

Beloved Osho, after leaving rajneeshpuram in november last year, I experienced that it became nearly impossible for me to find out what I was going to do. In the beginning it was a bit frightening, but very soon I saw more and more that just waiting was enough, and many beautiful things started happening to me, without my going for it. Is this how being with you works?

It is not only the way things happen around me. It is the way of the whole existence. You just wait, and everything happens at its right moment. Wait and watch. Don't fall asleep -- because in waiting that is very natural, to fall asleep. Nothing to do, one falls asleep. Then things will be happening but you will not know. So wait and watch. Life has been disturbed by the so-called do-gooders, who are continuously preaching around the world, "Do this, do that, do service to the poor." Doing has been raised so high that we have completely forgotten the art of waiting. And, certainly, there are things which can happen only if you do them. For example, you cannot simply wait and grow rich. There are people who even teach that. One American thinker, Napoleon Hill, has written beautiful books, a master writer. I have always liked one…

One has to sow the seeds; one has to prepare the soil. One has to be very loving, careful. One has to defend the new sprouts, because there are a thousand and one dangers, and love is very delicate. One has to handle it carefully: love is very subtle and the world is very gross. Love is like a flower, and in the world you will find only rocks and rocks. The flower can be crushed very easily. Its beauty can be destroyed at any moment. It is a miracle that it happens in such a hard world, but it does happen. Love makes one aware that miracles are possible. There is no other miracle which is bigger than love. Be a gardener of love. Let your heart be the soil Tend the garden carefully in the right time, when the spring comes.

You even poison love the moment you begin to strain—demanding “it must be.” “You are my son; it is a son’s duty to love me.” But has anyone ever loved out of duty? And if one “tries” to love, that love is false. Better a true hatred than a false love. At least truth saves you; people go astray by falsity. A true enemy is better than a false friend. Augustine prays: “O Lord, I will manage my enemies—do you take care of my friends! I can deal with enemies; friends I cannot manage. You keep an eye on them.” The prayer is apt, for our friendships are also our contrivances. All our relationships are built on striving; wherever striving is, the mind operates. All relationships of the heart are non-doing. Love is an uncaused happening; it happens or it doesn’t. And if it happens, there is no why.

You spoke today of love and death and the importance of experiencing love to pass consciously into death. I have never experienced deep love, only superficial attachments. I do not love even myself so how can I love another? I know there is nothing I can do regarding this impasse as there is a season for all things and at the right time what is needed happens. Is there anything more I can do than wait?

And don't postpone, don't play games. These are mind games. You say, "I KNOW THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO...." How do you know? How do you know that nothing can be done? Have you done ALL that can be done? Have you come to this point by your own experience, that nothing can be done? Then you would not have asked the question: "Is there anything more I can do than wait?" You are still searching to do something. This is not your experience; there is still some desire to do. There is something still groping in the dark, but you are consoling yourself that "There is a season for all things and at the right time what is needed happens." This is cliche. Drop it. You have heard it repeated too often, it has entered into your mind. This is just consoling yourself. This consolation will become poison.…