Do I deserve to be enlightened?

Do I deserve to be enlightened?

No, not at all. But don't be afraid and worried. Nobody needs to deserve, it is a gift of the divine, it is a PRASAD, a grace. In fact, the more you think you deserve, the less is the possibility of it happening. The more you feel you don't deserve, the more is the possibility for it to happen. Allow it to happen, there is no question of deserving it. Only allow it to happen.

Beloved Osho, as I walk to discourse each morning, this thought comes before me: what have I done to deserve this blissful experience of sitting at your feet? Joyfully, sometimes tearfully, awaiting your glance upon me and then longing for the next day to dawn and bring with it yet one more opportunity of being in your presence.... Beloved master, is this not also a type of greed?

So they closed the doors, and ate the food that they had made for God. And because they were tired from the whole day's cleaning and decoration and preparation, they immediately fell asleep. In the middle of the night a golden chariot came on the road leading to the temple. The sound of the chariot coming... and the chief priest was deep down still feeling that God cannot be so deceptive, particularly to a man who has never done any harm to him. He heard the sound of the chariot. He woke up the priests, and he said, "He is coming! I have just heard the sound of the chariot, listen." And they were half asleep and they said, "Just go to sleep! You are going mad, just because of a dream. This is not a chariot, this is just the clouds thundering." He was alone. They silenced him. The…

Osho, you have said that the divine is found not by effort but as grace; Sahajo, in a mood of awed gratitude, sings of the grace of her master Charandas, and Kabir of the grace of his master Ramananda. Upon you, whose grace descended? Did you attain the supreme enlightenment without a master’s grace? Please say something about this.

I have explained two approaches to you: the jnani and the bhakta. The jnani attains through his own worthiness; the bhakta through his prayer. The jnani “acquires” the divine by austerity; it is his achievement. He is a claimant. “If I have found, I have found it by my own labor.” Hence the religion and culture that Mahavira founded is called the Shramana culture. Shramana means: not by grace, but by effort. That is why Mahavira is known as the Shramana Bhagwan—one who attained the ultimate through effort. The jnani says, “Through austerity, renunciation, and merit I attained God—not for free, not by anyone’s grace. I earned it.” That is the jnani’s claim. The bhakta says, “Through prayer, worship, dancing, cajoling—by pleasing you. I had no worthiness of my own. I danced and delighted you. I sang your songs, praised your glory, won you over. In some deep moment of…

Another sannyasin friend said, ‘Osho is supremely compassionate,’ ‘Then why this distinction in the sharing of compassion—that only a chosen few receive the prasad of his ambrosial words?’ And hearing that very remark, I was reminded of my own unworthiness and backwardness. And I have begun to fear that perhaps for this very reason Osho may, in his own way, throw me out. Kindly be gracious enough to dispel our doubts and fears.

- “I am special; hence I was chosen.” Then you have gone astray. You miss at the very threshold. - “By grace alone I, unworthy, have been chosen.” Then you are on the right path. The Sufi mystic Junayd used to say in his daily prayer, “I am amazed—there is no worthiness in me, and yet I live. I have earned nothing, and this supremely blessed life has been given to me. I am amazed, for there is no reason why such peace should shower upon me. Where people burn in such restlessness, why does this peace rain on me?” There was a strange line in his prayer: “O God, I cannot believe You are just. You must be partial toward me—showering so much on one so unworthy.” And that was his worthiness. To see oneself as unworthy is worthiness on the path of the spirit. The day you take…

Osho, I want to take sannyas. Am I worthy, and has the auspicious moment arrived?

And because I don’t tell you to leave your home, there is an added difficulty. Mahavira did not give his people as much trouble as I am giving you. Buddha did not give as much trouble. I am putting you in a very paradoxical arrangement: making you a sannyasin and not separating you from the home. You will sit at your shop in ochre robes—it will be a great awkwardness. In ochre you can sit in the forest—there is no trouble then. At a shop you do not sit in ochre—there is no trouble then. I am creating a contradiction in your life. I am saying: live in water and be like a lotus. The rose has no such difficulty; it doesn’t live in water. The lotus has the difficulty—to be in water and untouched by water. To be in the marketplace and untouched by the market. To be in…