According to Osho, the issue isn't being 'my' sannyasin but being a sannyasin - surrendered not to a person but to existence. Begin with whatever little trust you have; like learning to swim in shallow water, trust deepens through living naturally and attentively. As surrender to life matures, you'll discover, indirectly and authentically, your connection with me - one that cannot betray because it arises from your own insight.
Yes - start with a tiny bit of trust in life itself, grow it gently, and one day you'll naturally feel close to me without forcing it.