Escape

Osho, I want to go very, very far away from you. It feels that if I stay close, you will erase me.

People are afraid of love, have always been afraid. That is why the earth has become loveless. That is why master and disciple have been lost; only the names remain, only the words remain. In place of masters there are teachers; in place of disciples there are students. Between student and teacher there is no dying, no love—it is a matter of transaction. The student buys something from the teacher, gives something in return—the matter is finished. There is no exchange of life-breath. O heart, do not revive the tale of worn-out love; do not entangle the people of the gathering in this thorn-thicket. People have begun to fear. They think love is a thorn, a thicket in which, if you get caught, you won’t be able to free yourself. People walk around it. Ordinary love entangles so much—what then to say of extraordinary love! When the thought arises in…

Osho, accept my tears! I am leaving your city. How I am leaving—only you can know. My life was nothing but sorrow. I cannot imagine when and how it happened that fountains of joy are bursting forth within and without! You have filled my begging bowl with your happiness. Yet there is a deep sadness in my heart, and at the thought of leaving my breath seems to stop. You are present every moment in every fiber of my being. Give me strength that, until your call comes, I may live away from you.

You said, “You are present in every pore of my being. Give me strength that until your call comes, I may remain away from you.” But the call has already been given. There is no need now to remain far. Even distance will not feel like distance. There is one kind of nearness of the body—and it can be that you sit close to someone, bodies touching, and yet you are thousands of miles apart. And it can also be that there are thousands of miles between you and yet there is no gap at all. Life is such a mystery; it is not solved by straight arithmetic. Lovers are close even across thousands of miles; and those with bodies pressed together, if they are not in love, remain far. Love is nearness. And the love has been born in you. So how far can you be? Nearness will remain.…

Osho, if love has so much glory, then why am I afraid to love?

Exactly for that reason—because it has so much glory. And your conditionings keep you from rising to such glory. Love is vast, and your conditioning has made you petty, small, mean. Love is celebration and your conditioning has taught you renunciation. Love is bliss and your conditioning says, “Become indifferent.” Love is nectar—rasa—and your conditioning is anti-rasa. That is why you are afraid. And you are afraid also because on the path of love the ego must be sacrificed. You have to cut off your head and offer it. You have to lose yourself. As a drop falls into the ocean, so must you fall into the ocean of love. Then fear arises: love is so immense, such a great sky! And you have become accustomed to living in a cage. Have you seen? Even if you open the door of a caged bird, it does not fly out. I…

One should desire it. But people desire it when it is not there, and when it starts coming they become shaken and afraid. Then they start finding little excuses -- those are meaningless. The real thing is this -- that you are feeling alone. Not that before you were not alone and now you have become alone... before you were a little less aware. You have become a little more aware. Before you were more immature, and you were believing in toys. Now you have become mature, and the toys are -- toys. You can play with them, but they are of not much use. So when for the first time the child suddenly becomes aware that these are toys that he is playing with, he feels emptiness. The toys are gone -- as you say, everything is going -- and the real things have not come up.