According to Osho, it’s hard to accept being a failure because our ego—conditioned by a competitive, fear-driven education—equates worth with winning and specialness. ‘Failure’ only hurts the ego; without that identity, there’s no problem. Drop comparison, relax into being a nobody, and approach life playfully—then even losing becomes light, participatory, and freeing.
We were taught to always win, so losing hurts our “me”; if we stop trying to be special and just play, failure doesn’t sting.
From the Discourses
Passages where Osho speaks to this question — each links to the complete discourse.
Beloved Osho, why is it so hard to accept being a failure? I would rather sacrifice my well-being than admit that I have failed.
I said, "Make it fun. Don't be worried." I had once seen a wrestler ... the village where I lived was famous throughout the area for wrestlers. There were so many gymnasiums in that small village and wrestlers from outside used to come to fight with the wrestlers of the village. Once I had watched a wrestler and had become very friendly with him. His style was very new. First he would dance around. The other wrestler is standing in the center, looking embarrassed, and he would dance. And he had a very beautiful body. He would dance all over the place. And his dance made the other man feel embarrassed and a little afraid also: "If this man is dancing with such joy, there must be some strategy that will defeat me." And then he would suddenly jump to the ground. He was not a very strong man, but…
Osho, this “total surrender” you speak of—the worldly people are never going to accept it. Otherwise a man seems like a sadhu, even a madman, not civilized... If he works with discernment, with a little intelligence, it’s fine; otherwise he’ll be a failure everywhere.
Our trouble is this: we are proceeding on the assumption that success will happen—therefore we fear failure. What I am saying is that we are taking it for granted that success must be. And we never ask how success could exist without failure. Success and failure are the two legs of the same mind. The person who succeeds will also fail—daily. Today he’ll win an election; tomorrow he’ll lose. Today people will praise; tomorrow they’ll condemn. Today he’ll be up; tomorrow down. Lao Tzu used to say: never climb to a place from which you will have to fall. But our desire is to climb precisely to the place from which all have fallen and we alone will not; to climb where no one has ever managed to climb. Our desire is to reach the very place where whoever climbed fell—and there I should not fall: that is what we…
Beloved Osho, why do I feel that I have failed? Is it because I still hanker to be perfect, superhuman, special? Osho, please don't spare me anything!
Surabhi, the answer that I gave to Suraj Prakash is also the answer for you. Only people who want to be somewhere, somebody, have to suffer the sadness of failure. But a person who never wants to be anybody, never wants to be anywhere else, cannot suffer the sadness of failure -- he is always successful, just like me. From my very childhood, my parents, my well-wishers, my neighbors, my teachers, everybody was saying that, "You are going to be utterly worthless, a good-for-nothing." I said, "If that is my destiny, I am perfectly happy. Why should I try to be somebody else? Utterly useless? -- perfectly good! Good for nothing? I don't see anything wrong in it." And they would say, "Can't you ever talk reasonably?" I said, "It is just a question of reason. Whatever is going to happen, I am going to be successful.... Because I have…
Question: Fourth question: Osho, why is failure inevitable in the world? Everyone thinks others are erring, others are at fault; I am not. And the greatest fault is precisely this. The greatest fault is: “I am the exception.” Here no one is an exception. Here all loves are false, all attachments are false. I say this without exception—all. Don’t think I am saying it to others and not to you; that you are of a different order. No one is of a different order. In this world, whatever we construct is false. What he—the divine—has made is true; what we have made is false. Connect with what he has made and the world bids farewell. Connect with him and failure comes to an end—then there is only success. With him there is never a defeat. Alone, there is nothing but defeat.
A friend has asked: Osho, is it possible for someone to live egoless in this ego-filled world and still be successful? Where everyone is full of ego, wouldn’t living egoless be like swimming against the current? Wouldn’t it bring obstacles, difficulties, failures?
Notice: even the egoist pays respect to the egoless. Even the politician comes and sits at a saint’s feet—this person has stepped out of the arena; one enemy less; he has left the fight; he has begun to flow with the current. So if you think that by becoming egoless you will flow against the current, you are mistaken. As an egoist you are already against life’s current. In egolessness you flow with life’s stream. Yes, you will go opposite to the egoists—but that will create no obstacle. Hindrance only comes if, even through egolessness, you still want wealth, prestige and position in the world. Then there can be trouble. It is said: An emperor was praying in a temple on New Year’s Day. He used to come on the first day of the year to pray. He was saying to God, What am I! The dust of your feet—worse…