No, you haven’t failed Osho—he sets no rules to break; just be yourself and grow in your own way.
From the Discourses
Passages where Osho speaks to this question — each links to the complete discourse.
Beloved Osho, have we failed you in any way, that you have to start speaking again?
The story is that Bodhidharma was determined to remain awake for twenty-four hours. But the body is the body, the eyelids get tired, and when they get tired the eyes close. He became so angry that he cut off his eyelids and threw them in the grass. Then his eyes could not be closed. It is a symbolic story. It did not happen, it cannot happen -- because I know Bodhidharma perfectly well.... He is the last person to do such a thing. But the story is significant, although it is just a story: those eyelids grew into a plant that became the tea plant. And because those were the eyelids of a man like Bodhidharma, the tea still carries the quality of awareness. That is the significance of the story. In every Buddhist monastery, the first thing is the tea. But in Gandhi's ashram, if somebody was caught drinking…
Beloved Osho, as I see it, the situation is as follows: you are, and we are not, or to be more precise, you aren't, and we still are. It seems that the master-disciple relationship is really a kindness on your part to describe, in flattering terms, what is essentially our failure to hear what you have said -- more often, more clearly, and more lovingly than any disciples in history could have possibly been blessed with. If, in some way, there is a problem with the process, that problem can only be ours -- irrefutably, undeniably and totally ours. Osho, isn't taking this responsibility unto our
The old man said, "Just forgive me. I am not a savior, and I don't know at all what this business means. It is just that I was unemployed and this business of being a savior needs no qualifications. I tried, and I was successful because nobody followed. You destroyed my whole business -- you killed me! You are such a stubborn fellow. I was thinking that you would go away after one year, two years, three years; but you are such an adamant person that six years have passed. Now it is certain -- unless I die, you cannot leave. "So it is better to say the truth to you: please leave me. I don't know what this business is. I have simply learned words -- savior, paradise, following -- but I don't have any experience. And the little bit of sense I used to have six years ago…
Beloved Osho, why do I feel that I have failed? Is it because I still hanker to be perfect, superhuman, special? Osho, please don't spare me anything!
Surabhi, the answer that I gave to Suraj Prakash is also the answer for you. Only people who want to be somewhere, somebody, have to suffer the sadness of failure. But a person who never wants to be anybody, never wants to be anywhere else, cannot suffer the sadness of failure -- he is always successful, just like me. From my very childhood, my parents, my well-wishers, my neighbors, my teachers, everybody was saying that, "You are going to be utterly worthless, a good-for-nothing." I said, "If that is my destiny, I am perfectly happy. Why should I try to be somebody else? Utterly useless? -- perfectly good! Good for nothing? I don't see anything wrong in it." And they would say, "Can't you ever talk reasonably?" I said, "It is just a question of reason. Whatever is going to happen, I am going to be successful.... Because I have…
Beloved Osho, the other morning in discourse I was overwhelmed by your clarity and your beauty and grace, and felt so grateful and vulnerable. Thank you, Osho. I also realize that I am still not seeing your total radiance and splendor. This brings sadness and frustration. Osho, is it true that without being enlightened we cannot see you as you really are -- sachchidanand? Can we only catch a glimpse?
The king was puzzled: this man seemed at least one hundred and twenty years old. "Is he mad, or what? He cannot expect to see the flowers of these trees, to say nothing about the fruits. And he is working so hard in his old age, the whole day in the hot sun" -- it was a desert land. He stopped and went close to the old man and said, "I watch you every day, and I see how hard you work, but a question ... Every day I go on repressing it, not wanting to interfere. But you will have to forgive me -- I want to ask one thing: Do you think you will be able to see the flowers of these plants?" The old man laughed. He said, "No, I will not be able to see the flowers of these plants. But do you see just behind…
Beloved Osho, let's reverse the question for once: what have you learned being with us?
And it is a one-sided bridge; I am not a partner in it. I know it is hard for you but your very question implies, Sarjano -- perhaps you have not read it very consciously while you were writing it. You say, "Let us reverse the question for once." You cannot reverse it even for once. You are asking now, "What have you learned being with us?" I have nothing to learn. You are here only because of the fact that you have found a person who has nothing to learn -- and particularly from you, who are groping in darkness, in unconsciousness, who are almost on the boundary line of insanity -- any moment, just one step more and you are in a madhouse. Neither from you, nor from anyone else. And my whole approach is -- and I have been insisting millions of times -- that as far…