According to Osho, you cling to what hurts because it also feeds you—through hidden pleasures, hopes, ego props, and borrowed ideas of love (like jealousy proving you care). Nothing in life is pure misery; it is mixed with its opposite. The mind then rationalizes the clinging. By watching your suffering with alertness, seeing the payoffs and pretenses, attachment loosens and letting go becomes natural—even relieving.
You hang on to painful things because they secretly give you hope or make your ego feel special, and noticing this clearly helps you drop them.
From the Discourses
Passages where Osho speaks to this question — each links to the complete discourse.
Beloved master, why do I feel so much pain in letting go of the things that are causing me misery?
Just a few days ago a little boy took sannyas. I had to ask him, "Can you be silent for one minute so I can explain your name to your mother?" But he was not even able to be silent for one minute. Small girls come for sannyas; when I say to them, "Close your eyes and sit silently," they sit so beautifully; they can sit for hours. When small boys come and I say to them, "Close your eyes," they have to clench their eyes! They are afraid that if they don't do too much they will open. They are so curious about what is happening, what is going on outside. When small girls take sannyas they look at me. And the boys? -- they look at Krishna Bharti and his camera! They are all over the place! I am putting a mala on them and they are looking…
Question: BELOVED OSHO, WHY DO I CLING TO MY MISERY? WHY CAN I NOT DROP IT? The I, the ego, is not something separate from the misery, that's why it is absolutely impossible for anyone to drop it. Who is going to drop it? They are not two, the dropper and the dropped. The ego is nothing but a complex of all your miseries, sufferings, anxieties, anguishes, wounds; your anger, your jealousy, your hate -- they are, all together, one complex. The problem arises because when you start feeling miserable, it is not the whole complex which is feeling miserable -- just a part, a fragment, and the remaining whole becomes your "I"; a false division is created. you want to drop the misery; you think yourself separate from the misery.
If they are painful, why does attachment to them endure?
If attachment endures, one thing is clear: somewhere a glimpse of pleasure is connected with it; otherwise attachment would not persist. You must be taking some enjoyment in it somewhere. For example, when you criticize, you probably enjoy it. You enjoy the sharpness of your intellect—“See how keen a blade my intellect is!” When you refute someone, you enjoy, “Look, I am more intelligent, you less.” When you display your knowledge before someone, there is a savor: “You know nothing; see how much I know! Where am I, where are you!” Surely somewhere there is a relish in it. Without relish you could not do it. Without relish, no attachment happens. You are also getting suffering... now understand what the matter is! When does suffering arise? When your intellect loses, then there is suffering. And when it wins, there is pleasure. When someone defeats you in argument, there is pain.…
Osho, what is the definition of God?
Words are very small. If you say God is light, then what of darkness? The scriptures have said that God is light. Suppose we accept this as a definition—then what about darkness? Where will darkness go? Darkness is too; in fact it is far more than light. Light sometimes is and sometimes is not; darkness is always, eternal. Where will you place darkness? If you say God is light, darkness is left out. If you say God is darkness, then light is left out. If you say God is both darkness and light, a contradiction arises: they cannot be together. Try to have both darkness and light in the same room. If you bring in light, darkness disappears; if you preserve darkness, you cannot have light. Then how can both be together? That becomes an impossibility. So you cannot say “both” either. Then the fourth device is to say: it…
Beloved Osho, why is it so difficult to get rid of pain, misery, suffering or anguish, while knowing perfectly well that one has just to understand and drop them?
Your suffering makes you somebody special. Without all your suffering, you are nobody. Who are you? You will not even have something to talk about with anybody. You will be at a loss -- what are you going to talk about? In England, people talk about the weather just to avoid real conversation. It is a very sophisticated way, to talk about weather. But it looks a little idiotic because you are seeing the weather, I am seeing the weather, it makes no sense to say, "What a beautiful day, how sunny!" you are seeing it, you are also in the same day. You are not tomorrow, you are not yesterday, you are here with me. And you say, "Yes, so beautiful!" This is because of the English character; it is one of the most phony characters in the world. It does not want to raise any controversial conversation. Politics…