Why am I worried about my partner's past relationships?

Beloved master, I am in love with a woman, but I want to be absolutely sure that she has never loved anyone before. Why am I so much worried about it?

Ramprem, just the old male chauvinist attitude. You are not worried about yourself, whether you have loved any woman before or not. About that you are not worried, that's okay; boys are boys and everything is forgiven them. Why are you worried about the woman you love? In fact, the very desire that the woman should not have loved anybody before is unintelligent, because a woman who has not loved anybody before will be inexperienced. And life -- even with an experienced woman -- is hell. So what to say about an inexperienced woman? If you want a driver for your car, you don't look for one who has never driven a car. If you want a typist, you don't advertise for somebody who has never been a typist. If you want a cook you ask for somebody who is experienced. Then why do you have a different logic about…

Beloved Osho, would you talk to us about our living partners -- our wives, husbands and lovers. When should we persevere with a partner, and when should we abandon a relationship as hopeless -- or even destructive? And are our relationships influenced by previous lives?

Kabir has said somewhere: I look into people. They are so much afraid, but I can't see why -- because they have nothing to lose. Says Kabir: They are like a person who is naked, but never goes to take a bath in the river because he is afraid -- where will he dry his clothes? This is the situation you are in -- naked, with no clothes, but always afraid about the clothes. What have you got to lose? Nothing. This body will be taken by death. Before it is taken by death, give it to love. Whatsoever you have will be taken away. Before it is taken away, why not share it? That is the ONLY way of possessing it. If you can share and give, you are the master. It is going to be taken away. There is nothing which you can retain forever. Death will destroy…

Osho, I feel attracted to women other than my wife. But when my wife shows interest in another man, I am seized with great jealousy; I burn in a fierce fire.

Men have always arranged privileges for themselves and blocked women. They locked women within the four walls of the house and kept themselves free. Those days are gone. Now, to the extent you are free, the woman is equally free. And if you don’t want to burn in jealousy, there are only two ways. First, become free of lust yourself. Where there is no lust, jealousy does not remain. And second, if you do not wish to become free of lust, then at least grant the other the same right you claim for yourself. Gather that much courage. I would like you to become free of lust. If you have truly known one woman, you have known all women. If you have truly known one man, you have known all men. The differences that remain are only surface lines. And if, having known one woman, you have not known Woman,…

Question: BELOVED OSHO, SITTING IN MY ROOM THOUSANDS OF KILOMETERS AWAY FROM YOU, I CAN FEEL YOU. AND IF HAD HAVE EYES TO SEE, I WOULD SEE YOU STANDING RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. I REMEMBER WHEN YOU SAID TO US IN DISCOURSE `IF YOU DON'T FEEL ME WHEN YOU ARE NOT HERE, YOU HAVEN'T LET ME IN.' IT'S SO TRUE -- BUT WHAT A GIFT THAT YOU REALLY, REALLY CAME WHEN I WAS OPEN, THAT YOU REALLY FILLED MY BEING. IN SOME MOMENTS SITTING IN FRONT OF YOU I GOT IT. IN OTHER MOMENTS IT HAPPENED BUT I WASN'T AWARE OF IT AT THAT MOMENT. PUTTING THIS OUT TO YOU MY HEART IS BEATING FASTER AND MY HANDS ARE TREMBLING. FOR THE FIRST TIME I FEEL TO SHOW SOMETHING OF MYSELF. THIS IS A GIFT ALSO.

Osho, the joy I have found in coming to you is something I had never known before. Yet I am so ungrateful that again and again the wicked thought arises to leave you and go away. And still, some unseen thread keeps me bound to you. Am I worthy of forgiveness?

If a husband does not love his wife, the wife will start being ill. Because when she is ill the husband comes and sits, puts his hand on her head—even if unwilling, irritated inside: “I came home tired from the office, I thought I would sit and watch television, or listen to the radio, or read the paper, or lie down and rest—but that’s not in my fate. The wife is already in bed.” If the wife is fine, no need to fuss. But if she is ill, the husband must at least show some humanity. He will put a hand on her head, ask after her… And the wife’s deepest longing was love! If there were love in the world, seventy percent of diseases would disappear—at least seventy percent. But society is against love, the state is against love… love is a sin. We cut love at the root.…