Why am I so secure in the illusion of conditionality?

Osho, I live in the world of the conditional -- could, should, would, may, might and is, are my dream operatives, which only my mind accomplishes, usually in the past tense. Why am I so secure in this illusion?

ONE can be secure only in an illusion, because security is the greatest illusion there is. Life is insecure. Love is insecure. To be is to be in insecurity. To be is to be in constant danger. Only the dead are secure because they cannot die any more; nothing can ever happen to them now. The more alive you are the more insecure you are. Hence many people have decided not to be alive, because a kind of deadness gives security, protection, armor. Many people have decided not to look into reality, because reality IS insecure. I cannot do anything, you cannot do anything about it -- it is how it is. Reality is insecure; one never knows what is going to happen in the next moment. I may be here, I may not be here; you may be here, you may not be here. The next breath may come…

Question: Second question: Osho, everyone is searching—for a fistful of sky. Everyone wants a fistful of sky to hold to the heart, such a world that one can embrace. Everyone is running after love and security, but both remain mirages. Where, after all, is security? You say: leave yourself in the hands of existence. But that state looks even more insecure. How can love and security be attained? Well asked. Man is really chasing only two things: to have love and to have security. For security he hoards money; for love he forges relationships. For security he builds houses, raises fortress walls, sets up strongboxes. For love he gathers a wife or husband, sons and daughters, friends, beloved ones, family. Such is the golden rule, full of paradox, of life. Seek security, and you will become more insecure. Seek love, and you will be filled with melancholy.

Osho, can you please sing us a song on this? Lately I have seen that I am totally vicious. Suddenly my heart then carries me into a very insecure but beautiful place. I love this whenever it comes, but why the insecurity and muddledness, yet so muck grace?

A person who lives within the boundaries defined by others... of course they are defined by others because a child cannot define his own boundaries. Parents define boundaries out of their fear -- their parents have done the same to them; now they are doing the same to their children. This is how from one generation to another the diseases go on being transferred. Each child hates the parents but pretends to love them. I can understand why he hates them, because the parents are poisoning him. He feels it in his guts, that they are destroying something tremendously significant. They are destroying his very life! -- but they are destroying it for his own sake. He cannot even revolt because he is so helpless. It was thought in the past that the proletariat is the most exploited class; that was not true. Later on we found it is not…

Osho, the sense of insecurity in the inner life is quite difficult, yet perhaps one can manage it. How can that sense of insecurity be applied in practical or outer life? In business, in a job, in the external life—how can we use the feeling of insecurity?

I understand. In truth the question is not about outside and inside; the question is about knowing this truth that we are insecure. You don’t have to create a feeling of insecurity; it is a fact, simply a fact, that we are insecure. What is secure—outside or inside, anywhere? Are relationships secure? They are not. Is it certain that what was yours yesterday will still be yours today? That what is yours today will be yours tomorrow morning? Nothing is certain. Is respect secure? Not in the least. Yesterday a crowd stood behind someone—today you can’t even tell whether that man is alive or dead. What is secure? Is wealth secure? Insecurity is not a feeling; insecurity is the awareness of the truth that life is insecure. As life is, it is insecure. No guarantee of birth, of youth, of the body—no guarantee of anything. Awareness of this truth—and to…

You often say sannyas is to live in the utmost insecurity, but my experience has been different. I have felt more secure in my heart only since taking sannyas. What should I listen to? I am confused.

YOGA BHARTI, BOTH THINGS ARE TRUE -- life is very paradoxical. I say to you: Sannyas is to live in utmost insecurity... but the moment you start living in ut-most insecurity, all insecurity disappears. Then you are secure for the first time. Why does it happen? The moment you accept insecurity, you stop asking for security. The moment you understand that insecurity is the nature of life, the moment you see that asking for security is asking for death... a secure person is a dead person. If you are alive you will have to live in insecurity. Life is insecure, rooted in insecurity. One day you will have to die -- how can you be secure? And you love a woman, and the woman is still alive -- she can fall in love with somebody else. Nobody knows the ways of life -- they are mysterious. And she is still…