What should I do to become enlightened?

Question: BELOVED OSHO, I'M IN A HURRY TO BECOME ENLIGHTENED. WHAT SHOULD I DO? Chitten, first just listen carefully to this small story. The plane had just taken off and the captain was telling the passengers about the altitude of the plane, the cruising speed etcetera. But he forgot to switch off the microphone. He then turned to his co-pilot and said, "First I'm going to have a cup of coffee and then I'm going to screw that pretty stewardess, Denise." The shocked stewardess was down the end of the plane when she heard this come over the loudspeaker. So she began to rush down the aisle to tell the captain to switch off his mike. Halfway down the plane an old lady stopped her and said, "There's no hurry, Denise, let him have his cup of tea first." Chitten, there is no hurry at all.

Osho, when am I going to become enlightened?

Please don't be in such a hurry because I will be left without business. This is not fair. If I have so much compassion for you, you should have at least a little compassion towards me too. Go slowly. Let me also enjoy the Masterhood. The psychiatrist leaned heavily on the bar and began to drink long, hard doubles. His face was wreathed in sorrow and he was, at the same time, ominously sad. Another psychiatrist happened by. 'John!' he exclaimed: 'John! My good fellow. You don't seem to be yourself tonight. Care to tell me about it?' 'There isn't much to tell' John replied. 'Remember that rich nut I was treating for years? The one who practically kept me in business from the start?' 'I certainly do. You mean the one who kept dreaming for thirty years that he was still in high school?' John nodded. 'What happened?' 'Last…

Beloved Osho, watching the mind, it seems to me there is an infinite ocean of thoughts. Meditation gives me more peace and grounding, but hearing you speak about enlightenment -- it seems to me far, far away. Can you give me some advice?

Dhyan Jashan, enlightenment is as far away as you are from yourself; hence the distance differs from individual to individual. You are certainly in a difficult position: first, you are a German, and nobody has ever heard of any German becoming enlightened. Only one of my German sannyasins used to become once in a while enlightened, and again he understood, "What am I doing? It is not for me," and he dropped the idea. That happened many times. Just now I have heard that he is washing dishes in a Zorba the Buddha restaurant. The person who told me about him had asked him, "What happened? You had become enlightened...." He said, "Forget all about it. Five times I became enlightened, and then I dropped the whole idea. I am feeling far happier washing dishes in the restaurant." What was happening was that whenever he would come here he would…

What is enlightenment?

Enlightenment is finding that there is nothing to find. Enlightenment is to come to know that there is nowhere to go. Enlightenment is the understanding that this is all, that this is perfect, that this is it. Enlightenment is not an achievement, it is an understanding that there is nothing to achieve, nowhere to go. You are already there -- you have never been away, you cannot be away from there. God has never been missed. Maybe you have forgotten, that's all. Maybe you have fallen asleep, that's all. Maybe you have got lost in many, many dreams, that's all -- but you are there. God is your very being. So the first thing is: don't think about enlightenment as a goal, it is not. It is not a goal, it is not something that you can desire. And if you desire it you will not get it. In desiring…

Beloved Osho, is it possible to become enlightened in a really easy and relaxed way, with not too much effort and lots of naps?

Gayano, you are asking me, a man who has never done anything. Just through relaxation ... without any effort and lots of naps! Mostly I am asleep. I just get up to talk to you in the morning, then I go back to sleep; then I get up again in the evening to talk to you and go back to sleep. My total hours of sleep must be eighteen. Six hours I am awake, two hours with you, one hour for my bath, for my food and the remainder I am in absolute samadhi. And I don't even dream -- so lazy! And you are asking me the question. This is my whole philosophy, that you should not make any effort, that you should relax and enlightenment comes. It comes when it finds you are really relaxed, no tension, no effort and immediately it showers on you like thousands of…