According to Osho, your 'identity' in love is the unconscious chooser behind your conscious vows. It silently repeats old patterns, attracting the same partner-type and re-creating the same conflicts, no matter how many times you decide to change. Only moment-to-moment awareness that reaches into the unconscious can bridge the split, heal hidden wounds, and free relationships from compulsive repetition into conscious, fresh relating.
Until you become deeply aware, you’ll keep picking the same kind of person and the same problems, just with a different name.