Love isn’t saying “you’re mine”; it’s respecting who someone is and letting them be free.
From the Discourses
Passages where Osho speaks to this question — each links to the complete discourse.
Osho, without mamatā, without the feeling of mine-ness, is it possible for a mother to bring up her children with tenderness? How did mamatā become synonymous with mine-ness? And is there no relation between mamatā and love?
No, there is no love in mamatā. In mamatā there is ownership. And where is love in ownership? An owner is a man of things. How can one own persons? Kabir even says: do not be the owner of things either. That too is an excess with God. It is injustice; it is immoral. Feel a little modesty—what is ours here? All is his. These trees that have grown in this garden—will you say they are ours? What have you done in them? You cannot produce even a single leaf. They belong to whom they belong—to God. Yes, you have rendered a little service: you watered them; you brought manure. You became the instrument. God made use of you. Thank him: “You gave me a little chance to serve these trees!” But the trees are not yours. Nor are the children yours. One cannot have a claim over life. To…
Osho, in one discourse you said that for men the “I-sense” and for women the “mine-sense,” that is, possessiveness, are obstacles. Isn’t possessiveness just another form of love? Must I really drop such a loving quality, which has overtaken my life? And then will I have to live dry and arid? Please guide me.
Kashmeera, you are right. If I were producing monks of the old style, your statement would be absolutely right—that then life would become dry and arid. But I am talking of a very different sannyas: a renunciation that does not run away from love, rather awakens to the truth of love; a renunciation that does not accept love as merely momentary, but embraces it as its eternal truth; that does not flee the world or flee love, but drops the ego. For sorrow does not come from love; from love comes joy, even if momentary. Yes, when love goes and the ego becomes strong, then sorrow comes. This is a subtle process; you will understand only if you look carefully. Sorrow never comes from love. Sorrow comes from ego, from attachment, from possessiveness, from the sense of I. Therefore in the beginning, love relations are very pleasant and delightful. The…
Osho, isn’t love inherently laced with attachment and possessiveness?
Rabi‘a, a woman mystic, was sitting in her house. A fakir named Hasan was her guest. Morning came; the sun rose. Hasan went outside and called loudly, “Rabi‘a, what are you doing inside? Come out and see how beautiful the sun is—behold God’s creation!” Rabi‘a said, “Hasan! Better you come inside—for you are seeing God’s creation outside; within I am seeing the One Himself.” Creation is beautiful. But will you compare it with the Creator? A song is beautiful; it carries a slight hint of the singer’s soul. These carvings all around are beautiful, but they are a tiny work of the artist. The artist is not exhausted in the paintings, nor is the Creator finished in the creation. From that Creator infinite creations can arise, and still He remains as He is—unchanged. The Ishavasya says: “From the Full, the Full is taken, yet the Full remains.” From that God,…
Osho, ever since contact with your disciples, your literature, and ultimately with you yourself has become available, a current of love has begun to flow in my life. Everyone and everything has begun to look good to me. But many times, when, filled with love, I want to embrace another, the other person becomes hesitant and then I withdraw. Please tell me what I should do at such times?
Yes, give him your experience. But let that experience not be an order. Hand over to him the wealth of what you have known. But give him the right to choose—whether to agree or not. If he does not agree, do not be angry. If he agrees, do not be elated. For it is through the politics of our pleasure and displeasure that we coerce children. A father tells his son, “Do as you wish.” But if the son acts against the father’s wish, the father looks unhappy; then the son wants to make the father happy: “All right!” If the son acts according to the father’s wish, the father is pleased; then the son wants to please the father: “All right!” In this way, slowly, the son’s soul is lost. That is why there is such a crowd in the world and so many soulless people. Where is the…
Osho, one kind of love becomes a prison and another becomes a temple. Is there a difference even between love and love?
A little girl! But every girl is born a mother, and a man remains a small child to his last breath. No man ever goes beyond being a little boy. Every man seeks the mother in a woman, and every woman seeks the child in a man. Therefore when a man loves a woman deeply, he becomes like a small child, and in the deep moments of love the woman becomes like a mother. The rishis of the Upanishads blessed newlyweds: may you have ten children, and in the end may the eleventh be your husband becoming your son. They spoke very rightly. But if a child does not learn love—unconditional love—from his mother, where will he learn it? The first school is missed. And if a girl does not receive love from her father, she will not be able to love any man; the well became poisonous at the…