What is the nature of self-identity?

Beloved Osho, lately I find that I am desperately trying to find or do or learn something in order to give myself an identity, knowing perfectly well that this is a trap of the mind. Why is it so painful and shocking to not have any identity, to be nobody?

The psychology of the crowd is the problem. Your whole upbringing teaches you to be identified as a certain personality. Nobody is worried about who you are; everybody is putting different labels on you. And that is a very easy job, because the search for your own self can be done only by you; nobody else can do it on your behalf. The child comes into the world utterly innocent, a blank sheet of paper. He does not know even his own signature. We have to teach him his name, which is a fiction; and with this fiction every individual starts as a novel. One fiction leads to another. The whole life becomes fictitious, and we have to cling to it because that's all we have got. Otherwise, there is utter emptiness, nothingness, abysmal. We will be lost. A story will help you.... A man had lost his way in…

Question: PITIFUL ARE PEOPLE WHO DO NOT KNOW NIRVANA AND ITS ETERNAL FELICITY! HOW THEY GRIEVE AT LIFE, DEATH, AND MUTABILITY! SHAKA, AND AMIDA TOO, WERE ORIGINALLY HUMAN BEINGS; HAVE I NOT ALSO THE FORM OF A MAN? WONDERFUL, INDEED, THE LOTUS FLOWER OF THE LAW! HOWEVER MANY AGES MAY PASS, STILL THAT SAME COLOUR. THE CRESCENT MOON BECOMES FULL, AND WANES, AND NOTHING IS LEFT; BUT STILL, THERE IN THE DAWN, THE CRESCENT MOON! WHENEVER WE SEE THEM, ALL ARE JUST AS THEY ARE: THE WILLOW IS GREEN, THE FLOWER IS RED. A parable: Why do you seek money and wealth? Just to have some identity. So that you know who you are, so that people can say who you are. Why do you go on searching for power, prestige? The same reason. Man is in a constant search for the self. Man is in a constant identity crisis.

Osho, I don’t know who I am, what I am. I have come to ask you for my “address.”

Narayan Shankar! No one else can give you this address—neither I nor anyone else. You will have to dig for it within yourself. If you keep asking outside, only confusion will come to hand. You will find many eager to hand you an address; they sit everywhere, waiting. Without your even searching you will bump into them. They are on the lookout for someone to ask, so they can advise. People are so keen to give advice, so eager to thrust their “knowledge” upon one another, that there’s no measure to it—because the ego has no greater enjoyment than this. Whenever you start giving wisdom to another, two things are instantly established: the other is ignorant and you are wise; the other doesn’t know and you know. And who doesn’t want that pleasure? Therefore it’s hard for you to find a person who won’t advise you, won’t “give” you knowledge.…

Question: Osho, One day Seihei’s disciple Suibi asked his master, “Master, what is the fundamental secret of Dharma?” The Master said, “Wait. And when there is no one here except the two of us, then I will tell you.” Many times that day there were moments when only the two of them were in the hut, and each time Suibi repeated his question—but before he could even finish, Seihei would place a finger on his lips, signaling silence. Evening came, and the Master’s hut was completely empty. The disciple wanted to ask again, but once more the finger on the lips came as the answer. Night descended, and the full moon rose high in the sky. Suibi said, “Now how much longer must I wait?” Then Seihei took him outside the hut and whispered in his ear, “These bamboo trees here are tall, and these bamboo trees here are short.

Question: ONE NIGHT A MONK WAS RECITING A SUTRA BEQUEATHED BY KASHYAPABUDDHA. HIS TONE WAS SO MOURNFUL AND HIS VOICE SO FAINTING, AS IF HE WERE GOING OUT OF EXISTENCE. THE BUDDHA ASKED THE MONK, "WHAT WAS YOUR OCCUPATION BEFORE YOU BECAME A HOMELESS MONK?" SAID THE MONK, "I WAS VERY FOND OF PLAYING THE GUITAR." THE BUDDHA SAID, "HOW DID YOU FIND IT WHEN THE STRINGS WERE TOO LOOSE?" SAID THE MONK, "NO SOUND IS POSSIBLE." "HOW WHEN THE STRINGS WERE TOO TIGHT?" "THEY CRACK." "HOW WHEN THEY WERE NEITHER TOO TIGHT NOR TOO LOOSE?" "EVERY NOTE SOUNDS IN ITS PROPER TONE." THE BUDDHA THEN SAID TO THE MONK: RELIGIOUS DISCIPLINE IS ALSO LIKE UNTO PLAYING THE GUITAR.