What is the experience of awareness when entangled in the hope of becoming something?

Osho, entangled in the hope of becoming something, nothing happened. Only the awareness remained that I am. Neither wealth came, nor a house was built, nor music arrived, nor did I become a scholar. Even living itself did not suit me. After coming here, unknowingly I gave life a new direction. The past has been spent in wandering, the present in sannyas, and you decide the future—what will it be?

Deepak Bharti! In life there is only one entanglement, the one and only—and it is there in everyone’s life without exception—the hope of becoming something. You are what you are; you cannot be otherwise. The very effort to be otherwise is anxiety, gloom, anguish. In that effort a vicious circle is born. Then with your own hands you raise new whirlpools; you sink and you rise, you sink and you rise. Your life becomes a long series of dreams—and of every dream’s shattering. If a rose wants to become a lotus, madness is certain. If champa wants to become jasmine, illness is certain. What is, as it is—its acceptance is sannyas. Sannyas means: tathata, thusness; to embrace oneself totally—not in defeat, not as a consolation, not as a sop, because that would be false; but with understanding, with awareness, by seeing this truth: a rose is a rose, and as…

The song ends:

THE SUPREME UNDERSTANDING TRANSCENDS ALL THIS AND THAT. THE SUPREME ACTION EMBRACES GREAT RESOURCEFULNESS WITHOUT ATTACHMENT. THE SUPREME ACCOMPLISHMENT IS TO REALIZE IMMANENCE WITHOUT HOPE. AT FIRST A YOGI FEELS HIS MIND IS TUMBLING LIKE A WATERFALL; IN MID-COURSE, LIKE THE GANGES, IT FLOWS ON SLOW AND GENTLE; IN THE END IT IS A GREAT VAST OCEAN WHERE THE LIGHTS OF SON AND MOTHER MERGE IN ONE. Zen masters -- Bodhidharma, Rinzai, Bokuju -- they have been pictured in the first state. That's why they are so ferocious. They look like roaring lions, they look like they will kill you. If you look at their eyes, their eyes are volcanoes, fire jumps at you; they are like shocks. They have been pictured in the first satori state for certain reasons, because Zen people know that the first is the problem; and if you know Bodhidharma in this state, when the…

I seem to be neither totally in the world, nor the watcher on the hill. How to be some place? I feel like I am in between, everything I do.

Then that is exactly the place you should be. You go on creating problems. Wherever you are, be there. There is no need to be a watcher on the hills. There should be no 'should'. Once the 'should' enters life you are already poisoned. There should be no goal. There should be no right and wrong. This is the only sin: to think in terms of division, values, condemnation, appreciation. Wherever you are... nothing is wrong in between the watcher on the hills and a man in the world. That's EXACTLY where you should be. And I say: wherever you are, if you can accept it, immediately then and there you have become the watcher on the hills. Even in hell, if you accept it, the hell disappears, because the hell can remain only through your rejection. The hell disappears and heaven appears. Whatsoever you accept becomes heavenly, and whatsoever…

10. While being caressed, sweet princess, enter the caress as everlasting life.

11. STOP THE DOORS OF THE SENSES WHEN FEELING THE CREEPING OF AN ANT. THEN. 12. WHEN ON A BED OR A SEAT, LET YOURSELF BECOME WEIGHTLESS, BEYOND MIND. Now you come every day with expectations, with a closed mind. It cannot happen. It always happens in an open mind; it always happens in a new situation. That doesn't mean that you have to change your situation daily, it only means: do not allow your mind to create a pattern. Then your wife will be new every day, your husband will be new every day. But do not allow the mind to create a pattern of expectations; do not allow the mind to move in the future. Then your master will be every day new, your friend will be every day new. And everything is new in the world except the mind. Mind is the only thing which is old.…

Osho, you say with such ease and simplicity that you are miserable because of yourself; if you wish, you can be free of misery; that you are caught in the nets you yourself have woven, and if you choose you can step out. For you it seems a very small matter; but even after hearing this small thing again and again from you, why do we still not understand? Please tell us.

And you cannot even say that my words are wrong, because your own experience tells you my words are right. This is your obstruction: your experience says that what I say is true—that there is nothing here. Your experience says so. But your hope and your experience never match—never. Hope always goes opposite to experience. Experience says one thing; hope says another. Hope speaks against experience. It says, “It is true that until yesterday there was sorrow; but what certainty is there that tomorrow there will be sorrow too? Tomorrow there could be happiness—try a little more.” The day my words truly, exactly penetrate you—and by “exactly” I mean the day you are ready to stake your all—on that day you will understand: How can sighs find rest even in union, When the thought of separation is already knotted? Then you will not find rest even in happiness. Leave aside…