What is missing in me that prevents me from finding a true soulmate?

Beloved master, I am a strong man, but I cannot find a woman who truly loves me. What is missing in me? I have come here to find a soulmate. Can you help me?

That's exactly my feeling reading your question, Sudhiro -- that you are in a panic. Two little old ladies were chatting over the backyard fence. The first one boasted, "I went out with old man Cain last night and I had to slap him twice." "To stop him?" asked her friend. "No," she giggled, "to start him!" But it is good that you have come here. If you cannot start, we can slap you! Something is always possible. One thing that you need is: rather than searching for a soulmate, become a soul, become more conscious. When love is unconscious it is only lust and nothing else -- a beautiful name for an ugly thing. When love is conscious, only then it is love. But how many people are conscious? When love is meditative, only then it is love. And a meditative love will attract a meditative love energy. You…

Osho, to find a soulmate sounds nice, but almost impossible. Would you please say something more about it? And how can it even come close to finding a master?

IT IS CERTAINLY ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE to find the soulmate -- even if ALL facilities are available. The earth is big, millions and millions of people; and life is very short -- how are you going to find your soulmate? And remember, even if all the facilities are available... right now, no facilities are available. It becomes even more impossible when facilities are not available, when you are prevented in every way from finding the soulmate. But even if you are helped, educated in how to find the soulmate, then too it will be difficult to find them in a small seventy years' life. It rarely happens; it is a rare phenomenon. Man has seven centers. The lowest is the sex center and the highest is the samadhi center, and between these two there are five more centers. It is a ladder. When all the seven centers of a man are…

Why do I find attractive people frightening?

If it is frightening, let it be frightening, but go into it. The fear will disappear. The only way to drop any fear is to go into the very thing of which you are afraid. If somebody comes to me and says that "I am afraid of darkness," then I always suggest to them, "The only way is: go into the dark night, sit somewhere alone outside the town under a tree. Tremble! Perspire, be nervous, but sit there! How long can you tremble? Slowly slowly, things will settle. The heart will start beating normally... and suddenly you will see that darkness is not that frightening either. And slowly slowly you will become aware of the beauties of darkness -- which only darkness can have: the depth, the silence, the velvety touch of it, the stillness, the music of the dark night, the insects, the harmony. And slowly slowly, as…

Question: BELOVED MASTER, CAN "SOULMATES" EVER BE ANYTHING OTHER THAN "CELLMATES"? Ramarshi, even if the soulmates can only be nothing but cellmates, that is a great achievement. They are intimate enemies. Ordinary love is nothing but the other side of the coin: on one side is hate, on the other side is love. And the coin can be turned at any moment -- in the middle of the night. In twenty-four hours it turns many times. There are no soulmates, because to be a soulmate you first have to understand what the soul is; you don't even know that `hey' is for horses! It is so clear that for our experiences of life we have learned only words -- love, soul, friendship -- but we don't know their meaning as experience, only as given in the dictionaries.

On the physical plane love expresses itself as sexuality, sensuality. On the psychic plane it becomes love and on the spiritual plane it becomes Prayer, but all these are a continuum. It is the same phenomenon growing, it is the same phenomenon reaching new heights, new planes, new plenitudes; and life really becomes full of an unknown sweetness. The heart is able to sing and the body is able to dance and the being is full of gratitude. The moment of love is the most Precious moment in existence, and it is through that moment that one slips into eternity. So remember: love is the highest religion, the highest truth. All else that pretends to be religious and pretends to be true is nothing but man's imagination. Only love is natural -- the natural way to god!