What happens when one feels they have not fully experienced a teacher's teachings?

Leaving soon for the west I look back on the five months with you and think: I have been with bhagwan and I have not been with bhagwan. I have seen him and yet something remains unseen. I have heard him yet still I am deaf to his teaching. I leave with no feeling of security, no sense of certainty, nothing to rely on. Have I missed you?

The people who crucified Jesus were not able to see his godliness at all; they could only see the mischief in him. So whether Jesus was a God or not is not the question -- whether you can see or not is the question. And you can see only that which you are; you cannot see beyond yourself. The moment you start seeing God in me, something of the God has been born in you. And then it is not going to remain confined to me. The moment you start seeing God in me, by and by you will see God in Jesus, in Buddha, in Krishna. And, by and by, you will see God in other people. By and by, you will be able to see God in birds, in trees, in rocks -- and one day you will see that only God exists and nothing else. In fact,…

Beloved Osho, can one really miss you? When love and this incredible pull are there, can one really go astray?

You are saying, "When love and this incredible pull are there, can one really go astray?" One should not go astray if one is conscious, but the possibility cannot be denied. You have to forgive me, the possibility cannot be denied. The closer you come to a master, the more you are lost, the more you are dissolved. In the fear of dissolution, the fear of your personality being lost, you may start backing off. You have to understand that this fear is there. Even the moth that is magnetically attracted towards a flame does not go directly into the flame. I have been watching moths -- strangely enough, they never go directly into the flame. They first go round and round, perhaps hesitating, perhaps having another thought, perhaps taking time, a little more time before they take the jump. Because the jump into the flame is going to be…

Osho, sometimes I feel I have received so very much from you, and sometimes I feel I am missing so much of you. Why is it so?

Then you will dance in joy, sing songs of wonder; yet you will not become a dead rock sitting—you will keep moving. More and more new flowers have yet to blossom in you! You have no inkling of your own possibilities. You have no idea of your own being—how much you can be! If one wave stirs, it can become a storm— Even a small ripple, if it stirs... If one wave stirs, it can become a storm— because the ocean is also hidden in the small ripple. If a single flower wishes, it can become a garden. A tiny flower could fill the whole earth with flowers. A single seed can make the whole earth green if it keeps spreading... In one seed are millions of seeds; in those millions, yet millions more! If the earth were given just one seed, the whole earth could turn green. If one…

Osho, I feel I am missing you. It makes no sense to me what I should do so that I don’t miss you. You are becoming deeper and deeper, and I find I am not ready for this depth. Will I go on wringing my hands like this?

The very language of missing or not missing is the language of greed. Drop greed. Join me in celebration. “I will miss”—this means you are looking through the lens of greed: Let me secure everything, let everything be mine, let me close my fist on it all, let it all be in my strongbox—money there, meditation there; the world too, and God too. If you keep such greed, you will certainly miss. You will miss—because of greed. Drop this language of missing and not missing. Here I am not giving you anything. Here I am taking things away from you. Nor am I sitting here to give you some knowledge. Join me in celebration for a while; hum along with me. Walk a little way with me. Take two steps with me—enough. If once you get the taste of the Ultimate, then there is no fear. Then whether I am…

Question: First question: Osho, will I miss you again this time? But the ego has devised all these arrangements. If one arrangement is lost, it quickly sets up another. “If not wealth, then knowledge.” People labor to collect knowledge! They pile up scriptures upon scriptures. Nothing of their own. Nothing truly known. All borrowed, stale—trash. What has not been born of your own experience is trash. To believe in it is foolish. Only fools believe. The intelligent person seeks; fools believe. The intelligent one attains, then believes. Fools believe first; the question of attaining never arises, the need to attain vanishes. And the more you believe, the more puffed-up you become. Look at the theist—what swagger! He struts. He looks at the atheist as if to say, “You will rot in hell! My heaven is assured!