According to Osho, recognizing your own density and thickness is a healthy beginning—an honest seeing that humbles the ego. But don't try to 'disappear' prematurely. Stay present and keep working; ripeness takes time. If you rush or misuse new energies, the 'key' of meditation is withdrawn. When maturity comes, disappearance (egolessness) happens naturally, signaled by the master.
Seeing you’re still heavy is good—keep practicing and don’t rush to vanish; when you’re ripe, your teacher and life will make it effortless.