What happens when I realize I am never going to get enlightened?

Beloved master, I finally realized that I am never going to get enlightened. But there is no way to die. What to do?

Pratima, this is a great realization. No one is going to get enlightened, because enlightenment is not something that has to happen. It has already happened, you ARE enlightened. You just have to look into yourself and find it. It is already the case. That's my whole theme that I am preaching to you, day in and day out, year in and year out. Enlightenment is not something like an achievement that will happen some day. It has already happened, you ARE enlightened, there is nobody who is not enlightened. But man has the capacity to remember or to forget, and you have forgotten it. You have decided to forget about it; you are keeping it behind your back. It is there; you can keep it behind your back for millions of lives, but it is there, and it will remain there. And any moment you decide to turn, a…

What is enlightenment?

Enlightenment is finding that there is nothing to find. Enlightenment is to come to know that there is nowhere to go. Enlightenment is the understanding that this is all, that this is perfect, that this is it. Enlightenment is not an achievement, it is an understanding that there is nothing to achieve, nowhere to go. You are already there -- you have never been away, you cannot be away from there. God has never been missed. Maybe you have forgotten, that's all. Maybe you have fallen asleep, that's all. Maybe you have got lost in many, many dreams, that's all -- but you are there. God is your very being. So the first thing is: don't think about enlightenment as a goal, it is not. It is not a goal, it is not something that you can desire. And if you desire it you will not get it. In desiring…

Question: BELOVED MASTER, HAVE I BECOME ENLIGHTENED? AND IF NOT YET, THEN WHEN? Enlightenment is not an object to be desired, it is not a goal to be achieved. And you will become enlightened only when you have forgotten all about it -- otherwise, never. And it is not a question to be asked. Even if I say you have become enlightened, that won't help. The very question shows that you are still desiring. Enlightenment has become your greed. You may have been desiring other things before -- money, respectability, power, prestige; now you are desiring enlightenment. The desire has moved to a different object, but it has not changed. The desire is still the same and desire is the problem. To desire anything is to remain unenlightened. Let me tell you one anecdote...

Question: BELOVED MASTER, HOW DID YOU BECOME ENLIGHTENED? Prem Christo, one never becomes enlightened -- one IS enlightened. One simply remembers it. It is not an achievement, but only a recognition. You are as much enlightened as I am, nothing is missing. You have not lost your god, it is impossible to lose him. He is our very life; without him we cannot exist for a single moment. So the question is not how to find him. The question is how to become more alert, aware of that which already is the case. Enlightenment is not a process of becoming, it is a discovery of being. You don't grow towards enlightenment; hence it is never gradual -- growth is gradual. It is an explosion -- sudden, instantaneous. It happens in a single moment... it can happen any moment. You are only asleep, not unenlightened. You have to be awakened.

Beloved Osho, what is enlightenment? Have the experience and the idea of enlightenment evolved with time?

So nirvana is just like darkness. The light is put off and your reality is all there, with all its beauty, benediction, blessing. But there is no word in English to translate nirvana. Jainas use the word moksha. Moksha means absolute freedom, ultimate freedom, freedom from all fetters. And the biggest fetter is the ego. Other fetters are just parts of the ego: greed, lust, ambition, anger. All that is thought to be sin in other religions, in Jainism is thought only to be a fetter. But the root, the main root of the whole tree of your slavery, is the ego. So cut the main root and all other roots will die of their own accord. Don't bother to cut small roots, branches, leaves, because they will come again. Cut the main root and the whole tree will die. And when all your fetters fall, what remains? The unfettered…