What happens to love when I feel that the other is hell?

Sometimes I feel really that the other is hell. What about love then and being with somebody?

THE other is hell only to the extent that you feel the other as the other. There is a way to feel the other not as the other but as your extension -- that is true too, that is what reality really is. The other is not the other. When you love, what do you mean by love? Love means only this experience: that the other is not the other. What else is love? What is love all about? Love is an experience in which you feel that the other is no longer the other, the other is me, the other is my being. Maybe on the bodily plane you remain separate, on the mental plane you remain separate, but further down the centres start overlapping, merging, losing definition. That's what love is. The other is hell if you are only pretending love -- then the other is really hell.…

Osho, one kind of love becomes a prison and another becomes a temple. Is there a difference even between love and love?

A little girl! But every girl is born a mother, and a man remains a small child to his last breath. No man ever goes beyond being a little boy. Every man seeks the mother in a woman, and every woman seeks the child in a man. Therefore when a man loves a woman deeply, he becomes like a small child, and in the deep moments of love the woman becomes like a mother. The rishis of the Upanishads blessed newlyweds: may you have ten children, and in the end may the eleventh be your husband becoming your son. They spoke very rightly. But if a child does not learn love—unconditional love—from his mother, where will he learn it? The first school is missed. And if a girl does not receive love from her father, she will not be able to love any man; the well became poisonous at the…

Osho, you have titled this series of talks “Sahaj Yoga.” Do “sahaj” and “yoga” not seem mutually opposed?

Anand Maitreya! They don’t just seem opposed, they are opposed. But no ultimate truth of life can manifest without contradiction. Life is made of opposites—darkness and light, day and night, woman and man, negative electricity and positive electricity, birth and death. The very structure of life is woven of opposites. Hence the opposites are not only opposed; they are complementary to each other. If you have labored hard all day, you will be able to sleep deeply. Labor and rest are opposites, yet only the one who has worked can rest deeply—and the one who has not worked cannot. So the opposites are not only opposed, they complete each other. And only the one who has rested deeply at night can rise in the morning and engage in work again. One who has not rested through the night will not be able to work in the morning. Look closely at…

What is divine love? How does an enlightened person experience love?

First let us look at the question itself. You must have been waiting to ask it. It couldn't have come to you just now; you must have decided on it in advance. It was waiting to be asked; it was forcing you to ask it. Your memory has determined the asking, not your consciousness. If you were conscious right now, if you were in the moment, this question would not have come. If you had been listening to what I have been saying, this question would be impossible. If the question has been present in you, it is impossible for you to have heard anything I have been saying. A question that is constantly present in the mind creates a tension and because of the tension you cannot be here. That is why your consciousness cannot act with freedom. If you understand this, then we can take up your question.…

When I love others it is a tension for me. Only my love toward you gives me a fulfillment, a freshness. Why is that?

This, too, can become a frustration at any moment because the other still remains the center. Whoever it is... the other must not be the center. If you really feel intimate with me, then remember this: the other must not be the center. The moment your love is not centered on me you will be happy. If your love is centered on me that will only create problems. You will love me and you will find someone else to hate. This is what happens. If you love your guru, then you will begin to hate and condemn all other gurus. If you love Ram then even Krishna becomes an enemy. If you love Jesus then how can you love Mohammed? You have to create an enemy. If you love someone -- even if you love me and you feel a freshness, a fulfillment -- then, too, deep down, the other…