How can we be worthy of you?

Beloved Osho, to be in your energy again is so beautiful. When I hear and read what you have gone through and endured in order to do your work and be there for us, I am awed. How can we be worthy of you?

The very question, how can you be worthy of me, makes you worthy of me. The question arises out of humbleness. I accept you as you are, but the desire to be more worthy simply means to be more humble, to be more absent as far as the ego is concerned. Here, not to be is the way of being. The more you erase yourself, the more you allow me in. Just open your doors, all the windows, and don't hold anything. If you are holding anything back, that means a suspicion... in case you have to leave, in case this man turns out to be not the right master, you can withdraw. So people give in very cautiously. They take so much time unnecessarily. Tomorrow is not certain; I may be here or I may not be here. Only this moment is certain. Don't hold back. Come totally to…

Osho, I want to take sannyas. Am I worthy, and has the auspicious moment arrived?

And because I don’t tell you to leave your home, there is an added difficulty. Mahavira did not give his people as much trouble as I am giving you. Buddha did not give as much trouble. I am putting you in a very paradoxical arrangement: making you a sannyasin and not separating you from the home. You will sit at your shop in ochre robes—it will be a great awkwardness. In ochre you can sit in the forest—there is no trouble then. At a shop you do not sit in ochre—there is no trouble then. I am creating a contradiction in your life. I am saying: live in water and be like a lotus. The rose has no such difficulty; it doesn’t live in water. The lotus has the difficulty—to be in water and untouched by water. To be in the marketplace and untouched by the market. To be in…

Another sannyasin friend said, ‘Osho is supremely compassionate,’ ‘Then why this distinction in the sharing of compassion—that only a chosen few receive the prasad of his ambrosial words?’ And hearing that very remark, I was reminded of my own unworthiness and backwardness. And I have begun to fear that perhaps for this very reason Osho may, in his own way, throw me out. Kindly be gracious enough to dispel our doubts and fears.

- “I am special; hence I was chosen.” Then you have gone astray. You miss at the very threshold. - “By grace alone I, unworthy, have been chosen.” Then you are on the right path. The Sufi mystic Junayd used to say in his daily prayer, “I am amazed—there is no worthiness in me, and yet I live. I have earned nothing, and this supremely blessed life has been given to me. I am amazed, for there is no reason why such peace should shower upon me. Where people burn in such restlessness, why does this peace rain on me?” There was a strange line in his prayer: “O God, I cannot believe You are just. You must be partial toward me—showering so much on one so unworthy.” And that was his worthiness. To see oneself as unworthy is worthiness on the path of the spirit. The day you take…

Osho, when I first came to you, it felt as if I had reached you because of some special worthiness. But now, day by day, I am becoming aware of my unworthiness—and of your boundless compassion. Osho, please accept my gratitude and bless me.

The sense of being worthy is unworthiness. The sense of being unworthy is worthiness. Whoever thinks, “I am worthy,” will have a thickened ego. Whoever understands, “I am unworthy,” will have an ego that melts and flows. That’s why sometimes sinners arrive, and the virtuous do not. Even virtue becomes worse than sin if it starts adorning the ego—and it often does. Just last night I told a story. An old woman died. Angels came. She was very frightened, trembling after death. Her soul was shrinking. She was sure they would take her to hell. She had never done anything that could possibly qualify her for heaven—she was certain of her sins, aware of her unworthiness. The angels said, “Since you hold yourself so unworthy, we must take you to heaven. Just tell us if you ever did even one small good deed.” She said, “I don’t remember ever doing…

Osho, what did you write on the blank page of my life that my life itself has changed? The love and bliss I had been seeking for lifetimes have come to me as an unasked-for gift of the Master’s grace. I was not even worthy of it. Beloved, I want to share the treasure you have given me. Kindly give your guidance and blessing.

First, I did not write anything on the blank page of your life. Your page was not blank; I made it blank. Do not nurture this illusion; otherwise, instead of knowing you will get entangled in information. I have not written anything on your life’s page; if you have written something and ascribe it to me, I bear no responsibility. All my effort is to wipe off whatever you have written on your page. I want to take away all your accumulated information. I want to leave you in utter dispassion, empty of conclusions. Dispassion is nirvana. And that is what has happened. But your old habit of seeing and thinking keeps misinterpreting. That too is what has happened. You say, “What did you write on the blank page of my life that my life itself has changed?” I have written nothing—because writing has never changed anyone’s life. Writing only…