Am I surrendering to myself when I surrender to you?

In surrendering to you, am I surrendering to myself?

Nirvesh, in asking it you have lost the way. Just a few days before, Nirvesh was there in darshan, and was saying to me 'Now it is enough. Enough is enough. For one year I have been wandering. Now I surrender everything to you. Now take possession of me and lead me wherever you want.' Now, this question: IN SURRENDERING TO YOU, AM I SURRENDERING TO MYSELF? Yes, if you really surrender to me, you have surrendered to your real self, because I am one with the real self of all. That is the meaning of God. I am no more separate from the whole, I am where you also should be. I am just a reflection of your innermost core; you cannot see within it yourself because you are not yet able to go into those deeper realms of your being, but you can see it in me. The…

Osho, wherever there is a feeling of surrender—whether to God or to a master—there must be some concept about the one we surrender to. Then that surrender is also only to a concept, isn’t it? Or is surrender something different? Please explain.

Surrender does not arise from your concept. Where all your concepts fall away, there is surrender. Before the one in whose presence you lay down all your notions. You say, “I have looked through many concepts and found nothing but blindness. Through the lenses of my beliefs I have looked and looked, and nowhere did I see the divine. Now I place all concepts at your feet. Now let me be without concepts. Now, empty, I look at you.” This is the meaning of surrender. To sit by someone in emptiness is surrender. Become empty, and you have surrendered. Surrender is not a declaration to be made with band and drum. Surrender is the tone of zero—shunya. It happens in silence. There is no need to make noise, to stake a claim, to summon witnesses. Wherever you go and sit down empty, there surrender happens. And then what to say…

What is it to be surrendered to you?

Savita, that which you don't have and you think that you have, has to be surrendered to me. You don't really have the ego, the I, the self. You don't have it really. You are living in a kind of illusion that you are separate from existence. That separation is not there. You cannot live for a single split moment as separate. You cannot live like an island. You are part of the whole. The whole goes on participating in your being, the whole goes on showering you with its energy, but you have the idea that "I am separate." That 'I' has to be surrendered to me. And you don't have it, so you will not be really surrendering something to me, just an illusion. Let me repeat: that which you don't have, I want to take it away from you. And that which you have, I want to…

My mind thinks that it is anxious to receive your message, yet toward the end I find myself resisting and getting tired. I suspect that if I were open sexually I would allow myself to receive without any closing. Is there any connection between opening to a master and opening up in sex? My background gives a negative and passive meaning to surrender. I know I will not go deeper unless I am able to overcome this negativity that seems to be engraved in my psyche. Is surrender possible when the opposite is planted so deeply?

Only within these hundred years has psychology laid foundations for a world which will be tantric. But you nod your head with someone who is condemning sex because you also have the same experience. You know that nothing happens in it, and after sex you feel depressed. That is why there is so much condemnation. Everytime you move into it you feel depressed, later on you repent. Tantra, Wilhelm Reich, Freud and others who know, agree absolutely that if you achieve an orgasm in sex the glow will last for hours afterwards and you will feel absolutely different - without any worries, without any tensions. Euphoria will result, they say; ecstasy will be there. And that ecstasy happens only when there is really a let-go - when you are not holding yourself back, you are not fighting; you are just moving with the life energy. Life energy has two layers,…

So the friend who has asked must have done it through thinking. When you do it through thinking, it never comes to completion. If it is not complete, nothing comes into your hands. When nothing comes into your hands, doubts arise. It is asked again: “Is total surrender something the disciple alone has to do?”

Surrender is not something to be done. Surrender is the expression of understanding—it happens. Keep listening to me, keep drinking me in; stay close, remain in my shade—and slowly, slowly, one day you will suddenly find: surrender has happened! Don’t think about it—how to do it, when to do it. Don’t keep accounts. Just remain. The natural outcome of satsang is surrender. Neither the disciple has to do it, nor the master. The master does nothing; his presence is enough. The disciple too should do nothing—just be present in the master’s presence! When these two presences meet, when they begin to interpenetrate, when boundaries loosen and there is a crossing over—when the distance between me and you goes on decreasing—just by listening, sitting, coming closer, a certain music begins to play within you. Neither do I play it, nor do you—it plays in nearness. My sitar is already playing; if…