Self-Worth

Beloved Osho, the gift of being here with you is overshadowed by a sense of unworthiness. It troubles me because I don't feel as available to you as I could be. Can you help me to dissolve this?

It is something very essential to understand, that people who are really worthy always feel unworthiness, and the people who are really unworthy never feel it. Not feeling it is part of unworthiness; feeling it is part of worthiness. The question is from Kirtan. It is good that one feels it, because there are no limits to unworthiness -- you can go as high as you desire; it is just like the sky. And to feel it means the ego is dissolving. The ego never feels unworthy; it wants to prove that everybody else is unworthy and only it is worthy. It is humbleness that feels unworthiness and pain which can give birth to a new life. So don't take it as a problem. Accept it as a blessing. Let the ego completely dissolve. It cannot stand the feeling of unworthiness. There are a few things in life which function…

Beloved Osho, in your presence, I feel showered with your unconditional love and compassion. My hungry heart is opening, and I have experienced a lot of joy and stillness here in your buddhafield. But my feelings of unworthiness still dominate my life, and I'm clinging to them so tightly that I despair of ever letting go. It has been a long and serious road so far. Dear Osho, will you please help me?

But people are such that even when they have come here and they have been listening to me, they are managing what to listen to, what not to listen to. Whatever gives nourishment to their prejudices, they are open to, very happy that their convictions are being supported. The moment I say something that goes against their convictions -- and those convictions are their misery, the foundation of their suffering and their hell -- immediately they close themselves. But how long can you keep yourself closed? I go on hitting you from every dimension, every direction. Sooner or later you have to listen. Then too, such is human stupidity that people start defending themselves. I sometimes wonder why you are wasting your time. If you are here to defend yourself, that you can do very well wherever you are. It will be easier to defend yourself somewhere else; here it…

Osho, when such incredible happiness descends, why do I feel so unworthy?

That's why all the religions emphasize: God is compassionate -- RAHIM, RAHMAN! -- God is compassion. This is just to give you an alternative gestalt so you become focused on His compassion, not on your unworthiness. You may be unworthy -- that is irrelevant -- but God is compassionate. You may be a sinner -- that is irrelevant -- God is compassionate. He gives for no reason at all; He is simply a giver, He knows only giving. And He does not give conditionally, He gives unconditionally. Jesus tells a parable again and again. A rich man called forth a few laborers to work in his garden in the morning. The fruits were becoming ripe and they had to be collected soon. But by the afternoon it was felt that the laborers were not enough; more were needed, so more laborers were called. By the evening it was felt that…

Osho, when I first came to you, it felt as if I had reached you because of some special worthiness. But now, day by day, I am becoming aware of my unworthiness—and of your boundless compassion. Osho, please accept my gratitude and bless me.

The sense of being worthy is unworthiness. The sense of being unworthy is worthiness. Whoever thinks, “I am worthy,” will have a thickened ego. Whoever understands, “I am unworthy,” will have an ego that melts and flows. That’s why sometimes sinners arrive, and the virtuous do not. Even virtue becomes worse than sin if it starts adorning the ego—and it often does. Just last night I told a story. An old woman died. Angels came. She was very frightened, trembling after death. Her soul was shrinking. She was sure they would take her to hell. She had never done anything that could possibly qualify her for heaven—she was certain of her sins, aware of her unworthiness. The angels said, “Since you hold yourself so unworthy, we must take you to heaven. Just tell us if you ever did even one small good deed.” She said, “I don’t remember ever doing…